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One of the best things about New York
is that on any night
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there are a million things to do.
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00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:23,312
One of the worst things about New York
is trying to pick one.
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00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,749
Those floors next door
are in worse shape than yours.
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Shall I try to get us into "Town."?
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That restaurant in Chambers Hotel
with the period in the name - Town, period.
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It's supposed to be amazing,
exclamation point.
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You know what sounds
amazing to me?
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A hot shower,
watching the game,
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00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,632
bucket of KFC, mashed potatoes, biscuits.
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- It's Saturday night.
- It's finger-lickin' good.
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K, period! F, period! C, period!
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Get over here and do me!
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Is that your standard greeting?
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I thought it was Richard.
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He said he'd call back four hours ago!
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I've been waiting.
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My dinner's arriving in a bucket.
Do you want to go out?
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Immediately! I'll conference in the others.
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It's the only way to do three-way
phone sex.
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- York/MacDougal residence.
- It's for me! I've got it!
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- First time we've talked today.
- We're going out.
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- Who's on the phone?
- All of us. It's the future!
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- Why are you calling so late?
- It's 7:30. Were you asleep?
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00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:46,839
I'm pregnant. I'm spending my last
months of freedom in bed.
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- Don't spend them alone in bed.
- Go on without me. Save yourselves!
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We're all going. We have to stop
ourselves becoming officially boring.
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I say we go dancing.
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00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,994
But not somewhere where no one's
interested because I'm fat.
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00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,869
- You're not fat, you're pregnant.
- Men will be lining up at the door.
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I know exactly where we should go!
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00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,312
That night, we answered
the age-old question:
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00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,871
"Where are all the hot guys?"
The hot gay guys.
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They were at the hot gay club,
Trade.
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- I feel like we don't belong here.
- That's because we're wearing shirts!
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00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,637
Why don't straight men
have bodies like this?
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00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:38,749
If straight men could have sex at the gym,
they'd work out all the time too.
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00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,831
I've had sex at the gym.
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00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,560
Samantha's motivating the masses.
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- I'm going to the ladies.
- Me, too. I bet there's no line.
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We'll meet you at the bar.
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00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,350
- It's Anthony!
- What are you doing here?
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We're just shaking things up.
You remember Carrie?
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00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:05,758
- Love what you're almost wearing.
- Day-Glo underwear. Look into it.
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00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,708
This is my friend Gordon,
design editor for "House & Garden".
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00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,633
Oh, my God!
I love that magazine!
47
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,553
I used to wear my mother's pearls
and flip through it!
48
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,915
Me, too!
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00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,435
I've got a great "before" apartment.
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00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,751
You should see Charlotte's apartment.
It's gorgeous!
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00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,032
We're doing an urban issue.
Maybe I'll check it out.
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00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,874
If my apartment could be
in H&G magazine, I'd be in heaven!
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00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,157
You are pretty.
Do you want to dance?
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00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,400
How long have you worked there?
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00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,438
- I wind him up, she cashes in.
- You two together?
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00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,353
I'm hoping we will be around 3:30.
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- Dance?
- No, you kids go have fun.
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00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,233
- Watch out for the fairy.
- Which one?
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00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,079
- Attention, gentlemen. Ladies present.
- Sorry.
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00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,278
There's no ladies' room because...
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Excuse me. Thanks!
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00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,913
Don't mind me. Just looking.
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00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,992
It's like being a diabetic
at Baskin-Robbins.
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00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,278
Sir... Hello?
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Excuse me! Over here! Hello?
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00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,392
Anybody?
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- What do you need?
- A penis, evidently.
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00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,150
I'm trying to order a Dirty Martini.
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00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,517
A Dirty Martini
for the lovely Carrie Bradshaw.
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00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,433
- Thank you.
- Oliver Spencer.
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00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,912
I've been here six months. Your
column is my New York survival guide.
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You're a dead man.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
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- What do you do?
- I'm a shoe distributor.
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00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,756
- It would be cruel to kid me.
- All the top lines.
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00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:08,835
- Offices here, Sydney and Milan.
- So you get a discount?
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For special friends and columnists.
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00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,550
- Cheers.
- Cheers to you.
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00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,351
- What's this?
- What?
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00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,509
That.
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00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,314
This.
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- I keep forgetting I'm engaged.
- You can't go off the market!
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- I'm allowed to see other gays.
- Let me take you to brunch.
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I'll give you my card.
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00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,236
What's this? A goody-bag?
85
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,153
I was at a film release party earlier.
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00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,676
- "Jocks & Cocks 4".
- They said it was a Merchant lvory.
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00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,196
Would I enjoy this
if I missed one, two and three?
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Yes, but you'd want to see those
eventually. Very important films.
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00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,276
Max! Hi.
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00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:02,275
Max was a junior associate
at Miranda's firm. And apparently gay.
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00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,477
- I had no idea.
- I didn't know you were a gay man.
92
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:11,795
I'm here with friends and there's no
ladies' room because...
93
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,791
Listen, Miranda.
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00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:19,549
I'd prefer if we didn't make
an issue out of this at work.
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00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:23,633
I wouldn't want the older partners
to treat me differently.
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00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,475
I totally understand.
Between you and me, I'm pregnant.
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00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,349
And unwed. You should spend
less time in gay clubs.
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00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:35,308
- Seriously, good for you.
- That remains to be seen.
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00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:39,268
I haven't told anybody at work.
Goodbye to all the good cases
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00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,910
and eventually the buzzards
will start vying for my office.
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It is a very nice office.
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What did I miss?
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I peed in the men's room
and outed a co-worker.
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- I got a phone number and some porn.
- I saw two dicks and took "X".
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00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,636
- And I almost slept through this.
- You took ecstasy from a stranger?
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00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,758
He was a friend of my friend Bobby's
friend Bobby.
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Then you know it's safe.
Will we be going to a rave later?
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No, but I might visit Richard.
Sex on "X" is meant to be amazing.
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- It releases all your inhibitions.
- You have inhibitions?
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- Oh, my God. Look!
- Three dicks and counting!
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They say opposites attract.
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00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:06,391
They don't mention that opposites
also tend to have opposite views
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00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:10,075
on what constitutes
a rocking Saturday night.
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00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,270
How was your night?
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00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:27,195
I've got a goody-bag.
Know what's in it?
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Come on. I had to fight
a foreigner for it.
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Come here.
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Just tuck in here
and let's go to sleep.
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- I'm not tired yet.
- You will be.
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Hey, you. I had five cocktails.
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I danced with a lot of fine,
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half-naked men.
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If you were to wake up right now,
I can almost guarantee
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you would be in for some F...
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...U...
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...N.
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I ate too much chicken, I think.
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Will you rub my belly, baby?
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00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,551
I know it was wrong to compare,
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00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,076
but I felt like I had spent the evening
in a Calvin Klein ad
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00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,152
and now I was back to baseball,
buckets and BVDs.
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Meanwhile,
Samantha was having excellent sex.
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That was amazing!
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You were amazing.
I love you, Richard.
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I'm in love with you.
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- You told him you loved him?
- It was the "X" talking.
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00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:04,916
- All I wanted was to have sex.
- Then what did he say?
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00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:09,278
- Nothing. He just went to sleep.
- Is it possible he didn't hear you?
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00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,159
He heard me.
Can I get a cab?
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00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,472
If he was a gentleman,
he'd pretend it never happened.
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00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,030
- But you did have sex?
- Of course we had sex.
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00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,988
Aidan and I didn't.
He fell asleep and I watched gay porn.
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00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,594
That's what happens
when you say "l love you".
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00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,036
- So do you love him?
- Who the hell knows?
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00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,078
- Maybe the "X" knows.
- It makes you giddy.
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00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,915
I was in love with the taxi driver,
the doorman, his sweater!
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But you only said it to Richard.
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I am never taking "X" again.
It is a dangerous drug!
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That afternoon, I was high on another
feel-good drug: the new gay friend.
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- Could you be more fantastic?
- They say you can't meet men in bars!
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00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,997
It was true last night.
I wanted to meet someone new.
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Just a shag.
I've got a boyfriend in Sydney.
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The only person I met was you.
Not that I'm disappointed.
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00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,388
Your boyfriend doesn't mind
if you date other men?
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- Not date. Have sex with.
- Right. The international gay rules.
156
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:14,109
Blow jobs only. No last names.
The gym is a free space.
157
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,511
Don't show up at the same place
with the same shirt.
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I crossed over into another
set of rules.
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00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:24,199
You've worked out more options
than "till death do us part".
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00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,999
I find that a little limiting.
161
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,355
I know monogamous gay couples.
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00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,399
But I'm a realist. I don't expect
to get everything from one man.
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00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,313
I shouldn't say this
to someone wearing a ring.
164
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,993
What's with you and this ring?
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00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,390
You haven't even mentioned him.
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00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:46,394
- What's Aidan like?
- He's very tall.
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And incredibly kind.
168
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And...
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...handsome.
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00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,033
Why would you leave that at home?
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He wanted to stay in
with a bucket of chicken.
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He would have made my dad so proud!
Have you been to Bungalow 8?
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00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,995
No, but I hear it's a pretentious,
tiny club you need a key to get into.
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- I have a key.
- When are we going?
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00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,878
If it isn't little Carrie Bradshaw!
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00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,476
Young Stanford! How are you?
177
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,837
At the moment, confused.
Who's this?
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00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,310
- Oliver Spencer, Stanford Blatch.
- Pleasure to meet you.
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00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,517
I don't mean to be rude,
but I must go to the men's room.
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00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,513
- I've just been. You'll love it.
- Really?
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00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,319
- I'll be right here.
- I'll be right back.
182
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,998
So...
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00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:46,074
I saw how you were behaving.
You're sleeping with the beautiful man.
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00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:51,519
- The beautiful man is gay.
- Damn. An accent always throws me.
185
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,673
He's only been here six months.
I picked him up at Trade.
186
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,950
- You went there without me?
- It wasn't the same.
187
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,430
I was prepared to lose you to Aidan,
but this...
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00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,158
Is just brunch.
189
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,515
- I'm green with envy.
- You are!
190
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:11,309
Fine. Have your beautiful brunch
with your beautiful man
191
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,711
then go home to your other
beautiful man. Greedy!
192
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,355
I started to think about restlessness
and relationships.
193
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,750
Once we've found what we want,
194
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,469
why are some of us reluctant
to let go of our single selves?
195
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,110
Is single life in New York
such a flurry of fun and friends
196
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:34,831
that settling down fills us with the urge
to shake things up again?
197
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,958
Why does becoming a couple
imply settling down?
198
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:41,954
Maybe we shouldn't expect
to get everything from one man,
199
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,477
but feel comfortable getting
different things from different people.
200
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,679
But when do separate interests
become separate bedrooms?
201
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:55,914
To be in a couple, do you have
to put your single self on a shelf?
202
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,389
Miranda's workaholic single self
was a thing of the past.
203
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,551
Now she was sleeping for two.
204
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,156
It's finally happening.
Stern, Hawkins, Ericsson
205
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,754
is moving into the future!
206
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,435
- Excuse me? We're moving?
- Casual Friday!
207
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,034
The entire partnership OK'd it.
208
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,510
Finally. I've been working on this
for two years.
209
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,953
- Right. Great.
- Thanks!
210
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,759
And...
211
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,876
...congratulations!
212
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,996
Did you tell Celeste I was pregnant?
213
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,789
- Yes, but only in your defence.
- What?
214
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,999
She was telling everyone
she saw you sleeping at your desk,
215
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,469
and that you might be an alcoholic.
216
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,750
- You told her I was pregnant.
- lsn't that better?
217
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,956
No. Not at a law firm, no.
218
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,918
Sorry. I told her it was a secret.
219
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,914
She can't keep a secret.
She's probably told everybody.
220
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,755
How would you like it if I told
everyone that you were gay?
221
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,914
Casual Friday has arrived.
222
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,314
Great. Maybe next
you can call my grandparents.
223
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,475
- Gay porn!
- What was your first clue?
224
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,393
You said we were watching
an independent film.
225
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:39,270
Relax. I've watched it already.
This is really funny!
226
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,199
That's the way to do it.
No "l love you", just good old fucking.
227
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,830
I am not in the mood for gay porn!
228
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,396
- Not in the mood for gay porn?
- You won't know how it ends.
229
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,189
"House & Garden" wants to shoot
my apartment. Trey doesn't care.
230
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,636
We turned off porn
to talk about a magazine?
231
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,075
He never cares about what I want.
232
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,277
Anthony is more excited about it
than Trey.
233
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,113
Gay men understand what's important.
234
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,430
Clothes, compliments and cocks.
235
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,956
And clubs. Oliver's taking me
to Bungalow 8 tomorrow.
236
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,112
You're cheating on Aidan
with a gay man.
237
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,158
Gay boyfriends
are the loophole of monogamy.
238
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,550
Mine outed me at work.
Then I outed him.
239
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,599
Even my gay relationships
are dysfunctional.
240
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,992
Aidan loves to stay in and I love
to go out. He's fine with that.
241
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,516
It's the greatest relationship ever
or we're headed...
242
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,433
For separate bedrooms, like me.
243
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,752
We're in different places.
Trey's content with what we have,
244
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:48,117
so I am a bad person for needing
to have a baby.
245
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,118
You're not.
You're a person with needs.
246
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:55,353
- Let's just watch that movie.
- I thought you'd never ask!
247
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,670
Samantha and Richard were taking care
of business, but not each other.
248
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:10,152
No more charity crap if we can't
get publicity. Steve Martin was there.
249
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,551
- He's the toast of New York!
- The toast of "The New Yorker".
250
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:22,833
Are we going to talk about this?
The thing I said the other night.
251
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:31,639
Samantha, you were high on "X".
Believe me, I've been there!
252
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,638
Good. OK, then.
253
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,116
Once it was clear that her
"l love you" didn't matter,
254
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,794
Samantha realised
she wished it did.
255
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,350
- You'll yell at "The Times"?
- I already did.
256
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,636
Did you need something else?
257
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:56,959
She wanted to say it wasn't the drug,
but she ignored her real feelings.
258
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,714
Fuck you at my place,
eight o'clock?
259
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,518
Sounds good.
260
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,517
On Casual Friday,
261
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,878
Miranda and Max came out of the closet
with their casual clothes.
262
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,919
Miranda showed up
as a proud single-mother-to-be.
263
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,311
Max showed up as a proud gay man
with a sense of style.
264
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,756
But when they saw Max's
sense of style,
265
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,275
that was the end of Casual Friday.
266
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,796
- Pretty.
- For the photo-shoot tomorrow.
267
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,074
Would you please move your stuff
out of the guest room?
268
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,277
- They're photographing in there?
- I don't know.
269
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,750
It doesn't look good
with us sleeping in separate rooms.
270
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,753
No, it doesn't, does it?
271
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,196
They want us to dress nicely
but not too formal.
272
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,708
- I'm in the picture?
- They want to photograph both of us.
273
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,668
- Why?
- They think we're the perfect couple.
274
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,917
I know.
275
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,557
But I promised
and they're coming.
276
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,316
- I don't want to do this.
- It's just one picture.
277
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,393
- It's important to me.
- I don't want to do this any more.
278
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,949
You were so angry at me.
279
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,276
I'm sorry.
280
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:40,597
I want a baby. I thought
that's what you wanted, too.
281
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,631
So did l.
282
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,438
I don't think
I should have to give that up.
283
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,231
You shouldn't.
284
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:55,632
You can have the apartment.
I'll move back in with mother.
285
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:10,235
Their separate interests had become
more than separate bedrooms.
286
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,551
They'd become a real separation.
287
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,037
Meanwhile, I tried to find a way
for my single self
288
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,475
and my couple self to coexist.
289
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,312
There you go.
290
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:33,076
- Where are you going all dressed up?
- I told you I was going out.
291
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,789
- I have to see Bungalow 8.
- What's that, a play?
292
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,997
It's a hot club. I need to know
about these things.
293
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,789
Some people consider my column
a New York survival guide.
294
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,349
What's going on here?
295
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:51,479
It's just something I'm trying.
It's closer to my heart this way.
296
00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:00,152
- Are you going out with the girls?
- This guy, Oliver Spencer.
297
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,038
- A guy?
- He's gay.
298
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,077
Cool.
299
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,708
I am done for the night.
300
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,116
Do you want me to jump in the shower,
and come with?
301
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,397
I don't know. I don't know
if he can get us both in.
302
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,949
- We can get in anywhere.
- You need a key.
303
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,509
A key? Give me a break!
304
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,195
That kind of attitude
is not appreciated at Bungalow 8.
305
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:26,113
Why do you even buy into that shit?
306
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,714
Let's just go out to dinner.
307
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,678
I can't. I told Oliver.
308
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:35,150
All right, all right.
Don't forget your key.
309
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,710
We're very exclusive.
We might not let you back in.
310
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,037
Now I feel bad.
I discouraged him from coming.
311
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,510
- Call and have him join us.
- It's not his scene.
312
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,194
Then break it off.
This is Bungalow 8!
313
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,750
What's a relationship compared
to a night with strangers?
314
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,911
Oliver Spencer and date.
315
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,911
I'm your date?
316
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:15,438
There's one problem with having
a handsome gay man as your date:
317
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,955
other handsome gay men.
318
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,271
- I love those open-toed sandals.
- I can get you a pair.
319
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,034
- What size?
- 11.
320
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,393
Ollie? Is there anything to eat
at Bungalow 8
321
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,790
or is food so very last year?
322
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,678
You're in the middle of a spa session,
so I'm going.
323
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,756
You're going?
324
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:42,198
I left a gorgeous man at home
to come here and be your date.
325
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:45,716
I'm guessing Size 11 did as well.
326
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,155
I'm not really sure why I'm here.
327
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,438
Because you're fantastic.
I'm sorry I was neglecting you.
328
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,550
I'm very bad.
Kiss and make up?
329
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,679
If it isn't Mr and Mrs Down Under!
330
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,992
I'd been so preoccupied with my gay
boyfriend I forgot my gay husband.
331
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:12,790
- You remember Stanford from brunch?
- It was more than just brunch.
332
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:17,078
He's just a pretty face.
He doesn't love you like I love you.
333
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,119
I knew this woman when she took
the subway and wore Candies.
334
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,191
I never wore Candies.
335
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,557
Pink suede Candies,
and I adored you anyway.
336
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:31,510
How dare you try to steal her away
with your probably fake accent!
337
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,990
- I didn't know she was spoken for.
- She is.
338
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,515
All right. Kiss and make up?
339
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:43,988
Then I realised my single self life had
a shelf life that had just expired.
340
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,276
- OK, I'm going.
- OK.
341
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,432
No, stay.
We only just got here.
342
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:55,076
- Let me buy you another drink.
- I want to go home.
343
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,550
And the surprising thing was,
I did.
344
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,836
Honey, I'm home.
345
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,316
How was the Bungalow?
346
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,156
I've seen better.
347
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,392
Why do you own "Jocks & Cocks 4"?
348
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,158
More research
for the survival guide.
349
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,278
Really? What did you learn?
350
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,069
Give me some of that.
351
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,593
Big thank you to our gay friends.
352
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,676
That's the thing about Manhattan.
The exclusive clubs
353
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,310
only have a couple of members
and they're hard to find.
354
00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:56,874
Next morning, "House & Garden"
came to Charlotte's house.
355
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,838
Fork, fork, knife, spoon!
Are these people crazy?
356
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,232
This is perfect. Upper East Side
breakfast for two. I love this china.
357
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,276
Thanks. It's our wedding china.
Anthony?
358
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,191
Could I talk to you a minute?
359
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,230
I'll be right back.
360
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,111
Is he cute or what?
361
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,038
- Trey and l...
- Splitting up. I knew it!
362
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,875
I don't think he's going to be
in the picture. Should we cancel?
363
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,032
Cancel?
"H&G"! Do it without him!
364
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,158
- Won't just me look bad?
- lt'll look beautiful.
365
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,949
He's the heart surgeon,
but you're the heart of this.
366
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:38,839
Look what you did to this place!
367
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:43,710
You could take any guy off
the street and make him wonderful.
368
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,350
You deserve more than that
stick-up-his-ass preppie.
369
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,955
Get in here and have breakfast.
370
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:56,638
- Gordon, it's just going to be...
- Are we ready for the picture?
371
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,512
One minute.
372
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,108
You don't have to...
373
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,875
This is important to you.
I at least want to do this.
374
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,360
Handsome husband,
beautiful wife...
375
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,589
...having breakfast!
376
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,958
Smile.
377
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:24,908
Trey had moved out by the time
the magazine came out,
378
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,913
but little girls
in their mothers' pearls
379
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:31,834
saw the picture and thought:
"That's what I want."
380
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,428
That's the thing
about relationships:
381
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,990
sometimes they look prettier
from the outside.
382
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:52,871
And what's inside
can be different than it seems.
2010年3月14日日曜日
Sex and the City - 4x15 - Change of a Dress.en
1
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,436
When a marriage breaks up,
there are numerous ways to cope.
2
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,477
You can cry, you can move.
3
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,473
It's left right, not right left.
4
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,791
Or, as Charlotte did, dive in
to a new routine. A tap routine.
5
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,192
I feel good. I even signed up
for sculpture and tap dancing class.
6
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,717
- You can't do one without the other.
- Everyone tells me to grieve.
7
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,715
I don't need time. This divorce
is going to be clean and swift.
8
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,835
Oh, my God!
I thought that was you!
9
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,470
There it was. The unmistakable
voice of Susan Sharon.
10
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,518
- So what's new?
- Same old same old.
11
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,069
Just writing, gallivanting, eating.
12
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,434
The usual.
13
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,631
You're forgetting
the most important thing.
14
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,271
- They're engaged.
- You're getting married?
15
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,192
Oh, my God!
16
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,874
Oh, Aidan. Mazel tov.
17
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,270
Let me see. Where's the...?
18
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,352
It's here.
It's right here. See?
19
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,349
Why is it round your neck?
Is that what people do now?
20
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,513
No, it's just me.
It's closer to my heart this way.
21
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,558
So, spring wedding?
Fall wedding?
22
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,157
- Where are you doing it?
- We haven't thought about that stuff.
23
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:42,110
You'd better chop chop, missy.
These places book up...years and years.
24
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,678
OK, the wedding...
25
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,676
The next morning,
a hotel mogul and his publicist
26
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,434
began another gruelling day at work.
27
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,596
- Can I help you?
- You're gorgeous.
28
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,512
Tell me something I don't know.
29
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,752
As intimate as their personal
affair had become,
30
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:05,040
when it came to business, Samantha
remained cool and professional.
31
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,116
Guess Who?
Sightings...
32
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,118
In theory.
33
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,553
- JJ Mitchell.
- JJ, Samantha Jones.
34
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,598
I have your column.
I'm very disappointed.
35
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,276
I thought you'd suck my dick for getting
Richard's name in the paper.
36
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,592
We'll talk about your dick later.
Richard and Bebe London? Bullshit!
37
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,275
I know he's canoodling with one woman
and it's not her.
38
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,830
Guess which publicist
can't keep track of her client?
39
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,231
Guess which two-bit columnist
talks out of his ass?
40
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,437
I'd rather be talking
out of your ass, Jonesy...
41
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,036
JJ Mitchell says you canoodled
with Bebe London. He's an idiot.
42
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,395
All press is good press, right?
43
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,716
- So you were canoodling?
- Is that a problem?
44
00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:01,876
No, I just need to get all the facts
so I can do my job.
45
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,479
Take a break
and get that sexy ass in here.
46
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,633
To drown out thoughts of Richard
canoodling with Bebe London,
47
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,075
Samantha focused on her canoodle.
48
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,073
In a more modest shower uptown...
49
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,790
- Have we met?
- Can I get in?
50
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,236
Got a guy coming round.
It's really coming along over there.
51
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,710
The walls are coming down,
the wash-and-dryer's on the way.
52
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:44,637
Oh, the washer and dryer I've been
dreaming about my whole New York life!
53
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:49,191
Here's something else to chew on.
How about Hawaii?
54
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,079
- As what, the 50th state?
- As in we get hitched.
55
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,835
Grab a couple of friends,
down some Mai Tais, tie the knot.
56
00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,232
- We can get Maui-ed.
- Did you just pun in the nude?
57
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,035
What did I tell you about that?
Give me the soap.
58
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,232
- What do you think?
- About Hawaii?
59
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,113
Do I look like a
surf's-up kind of bride to you?
60
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:19,119
- My grass skirt days are over.
- How about Aspen?
61
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,951
Christmas time in Aspen.
62
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,954
You, me, a polar bear, a judge.
How does that sound?
63
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,159
For a shower
with so little water pressure,
64
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,675
I felt a ton of it on my shoulders.
65
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:40,317
Here's the spine, right here.
Isn't that incredible?
66
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,119
Here's the heart beating.
67
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,592
- See?
- Kind of. I think so.
68
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,555
Do you want to know the sex?
69
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,437
Sure?
70
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,708
It's a boy.
71
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,439
It's a boy!
How do you feel?
72
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,992
Great! A boy!
73
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,310
Boy, oh boy.
74
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,874
- I just faked a sonogram.
- I'm sorry?
75
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:24,192
I was lying there,
getting a guided tour of my uterus.
76
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,990
- She tells me I'm having a boy...
- Oh, my God! Miranda!
77
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,720
- You're having a boy!
- You see? That.
78
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,919
That's what she wanted,
but I couldn't get it up so I faked it.
79
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:40,517
What does a fake sonogram look like
in case I ever need to do it?
80
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,951
Everyone is glowing about my pregnancy.
When will l?
81
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,874
I get the same every time
someone hears I'm engaged.
82
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,749
I'm supposed to be excited
about picking a date and a place.
83
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,514
I just want to lie down
and take a nap.
84
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,559
- I feel like a deadbeat bride.
- So don't do all that stuff.
85
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,950
I'd better do something soon.
86
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,398
I'm getting the feeling
my grace period is O-V-E-R.
87
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:12,190
I don't even want to look for a dress.
Me! No dress! What's wrong here?
88
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,239
Maybe it's like the dentist.
You put it off and put it off.
89
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,392
Finally you go
and afterwards you feel great.
90
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,835
I have to go to the dentist.
91
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,753
Wait.
I'm having a radical idea.
92
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,992
There's a horrible bridal shop
two blocks away.
93
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,799
- We could go...
- How do you know this?
94
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,032
Every time I pass by it,
I go bleugh!
95
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,671
You could try on the worst dress.
Face the dragon, get it over with.
96
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:42,469
Then I'll treat you to a Tasty Delight.
It's aversion shock therapy.
97
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,234
You want me to try on
a bad wedding dress?
98
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,676
You'll have to do better
than Tasty Delight.
99
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,195
I'll try one on, too.
100
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,472
Ladies.
101
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,872
My friend Miranda is getting married,
so we want something special.
102
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,076
We're in kind of a hurry.
103
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,310
For Carrie here,
104
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,472
we were thinking of something
with a lot of bows.
105
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,677
We want her to look like
a giant cupcake.
106
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,959
Which one of you is getting married?
107
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,793
We both are.
We do everything together.
108
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,238
Miranda has everything but the gown.
And the groom.
109
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,391
Is this a lesbian wedding?
110
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,916
No. It's a very straight-laced,
conservative crowd.
111
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,676
- A lot of Wall Street types.
- I'll see what I can find.
112
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,673
Your rehearsal dinner's going to rock.
113
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,117
On the count of three.
114
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,600
One, two...
115
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,872
Look at you!
116
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,589
Stop! I'm going to pee in this thing!
Look at you!
117
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,911
Hold still! You need a veil.
118
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,392
Look. Look!
119
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,636
I look beautiful.
You can't tell I'm pregnant.
120
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,109
The sleeves balance out the tummy.
121
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,910
This is too tight. I can't breathe.
Can you get it off me?
122
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,913
- Are you kidding?
- No, I'm not kidding!
123
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,392
- You don't want her to come back.
- Get it off! I can't breathe!
124
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,916
There's a million buttons.
125
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,868
- Your back is all wet!
- Just get it off! Rip it off!
126
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,716
Oh, my God.
127
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,836
What just happened?
128
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,788
- I can't get married.
- This is all your fault!
129
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,270
- You took her to that dump?
- It was an experiment.
130
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,557
- It went awry.
- Let's just slow down.
131
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,713
- Let's not do anything rash.
- Rash. Exactly. Look at this.
132
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,590
My body is literally
rejecting the idea of marriage.
133
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,399
Once you get a rash,
it's time to go.
134
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:11,395
It's not him, it's me. I'm missing
the bride gene. I should be studied.
135
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,757
- I don't want to get married either.
- Ever?
136
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,391
Why do we have to get married?
Give me one good reason.
137
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:24,839
Aside from not wanting to die alone,
which is something to think about.
138
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,470
When it was good,
it gave me a sense of security.
139
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:33,031
But I feel secure now.
Things are great with us.
140
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,714
- "lf it ain't broke..."
- Don't marry it!
141
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,156
- What are you afraid would change?
- I don't know.
142
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,276
Nothing? Everything?
143
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,797
- Every bride feels that way.
- Why aren't they speaking up?
144
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:50,397
I'm going to ask you an unpleasant
question. Why did you ever say yes?
145
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,630
Because I love him.
146
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,554
A man you love kneels in the street
147
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,553
and offers you a ring.
You say yes.
148
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,349
Get married and hope it works.
If it doesn't, get divorced.
149
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,670
Take tap with Bojangles here.
150
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:10,914
I can't take a vow of forever
if I mean for the foreseeable future.
151
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,640
- I can't do that to Aidan.
- Talk to him.
152
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,950
How do you talk about this?
153
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:21,114
"Hi, Aidan. I've been having
some doubts." It will break his heart.
154
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,999
I shouldn't have said yes.
I'm a bad person.
155
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,516
In a court, reasonable doubt
gets you off for murder.
156
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,399
In an engagement,
it makes you a bad person.
157
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,677
Everyone has anxiety about weddings.
158
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,798
Maybe your anxiety threshold is low.
159
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,192
Interesting theory. Do you think
the dress is still in that dumpster?
160
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,235
After being hit by a bridal wave,
161
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:50,076
I tried to get my mind around
the concept of happily ever after.
162
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,878
As progressive
as our society claims to be,
163
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,635
there are still life targets
we're all supposed to hit.
164
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,475
Marriage, babies,
and a home to call your own.
165
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,916
What if instead of a smile,
you break out in a rash?
166
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,117
Is something wrong with the system
or is it you?
167
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:13,910
Do we really want these things?
Or are we just programmed?
168
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,795
In a crisis, people always tell you
to listen to your gut.
169
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,032
Mine was telling me
to start smoking again.
170
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,556
Marlboro Lights, please.
171
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,950
But I decided
not to throw it all away.
172
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,954
Actually, just these.
173
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,200
While Aidan worked on the apartment,
174
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,079
I worked on reprogramming
my attitude.
175
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,754
Could I be a spring bride?
176
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,031
Happy bride?
177
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,837
Peekaboo bride?
178
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,115
Stop!
179
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,633
Aidan, stop it!
180
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,595
- Did I knock something down?
- I'm freaking out.
181
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,192
I can't. I cannot...
182
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,830
I'm having a very strong reaction
to all this change.
183
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,755
- Don't freak out.
- I am. It all feels really fast.
184
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,833
- I told you about the hole.
- It's not just the hole!
185
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,913
- It's...
- What?
186
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,080
It's the marriage stuff.
187
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,149
I love you and I'm sorry if I'm not
supposed to talk to you about this,
188
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,713
but I have to.
189
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,952
Come here.
Sit down on the floor.
190
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,190
What's happening?
191
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:12,319
I didn't want to say anything,
192
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,358
but then that thing
came through my wall.
193
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,668
I don't think that I'm ready
to get married yet.
194
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,311
Do you hate me?
195
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,029
You're catching me
a little off guard here.
196
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,990
- I know. I just...
- No, I hear you.
197
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,236
I need a minute here.
198
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,590
Is it because I said
we could get Maui-ed?
199
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,274
Thank you for making a joke.
200
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,073
Let's slow it down.
201
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,879
How much time do you need?
202
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,717
Six months?
203
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,312
Nine months?
204
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,952
- End of the year?
- Which year?
205
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,392
Do you just need some time?
206
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,791
Yeah. I think so.
207
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,439
We'll get there.
208
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,630
Thank you, Aidan.
209
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,154
Thank you for listening.
210
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,593
See the washer-and-dryer
out there?
211
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,430
I love you.
212
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,833
The next day, Miranda enjoyed
a moment of solitude with her bills
213
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,195
and her cleaning lady.
214
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,432
Magda, I'm going to pay you
for a whole month, OK?
215
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,198
Look what I found on kitchen counter.
Is beautiful!
216
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,750
- Did they tell you boy or girl?
- Yes, it's a boy.
217
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,593
A boy!
A boy is coming into the house.
218
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,275
The boy is highest blessing.
It's good luck.
219
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,236
Smile.
220
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,194
Smile.
221
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,798
Smile for a boy.
222
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,712
A boy!
223
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,711
A boy!
224
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,953
While Miranda had tea for one,
Charlotte did "Tea For Two".
225
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,271
You're coming across the floor.
226
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,349
Steps up a step for you,
steps up a step for me.
227
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,149
Now two by two. Go!
228
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,994
Next pair.
229
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,513
Nice.
230
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,637
Very nice.
231
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,875
You with the flowers. Go!
232
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,077
- I don't have a partner.
- Just go it alone.
233
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,832
And go!
234
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,514
I don't want to go it alone.
235
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,955
You'll be fine. Come on, flowers.
236
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,596
I can't do this!
237
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,797
I shouldn't have to.
I deserve a real partner.
238
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,872
- And this song is hurtful!
- Should I stop?
239
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,835
You should think about people
who are getting divorced
240
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,278
and come here to have fun
and to feel good about themselves!
241
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,753
In her attempt to skip over her grief,
242
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,196
Charlotte tapped into her pain.
243
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,074
The next week, we all gathered
at the Black and White ball,
244
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,073
Richard Wright's charity fundraiser.
245
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,037
Aidan looks so handsome in a tux!
246
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,875
- How's he doing?
- He's good.
247
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:38,397
Still a little thrown by the change
in plans, but good.
248
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,791
- I hope I did the right thing.
- You followed your feelings.
249
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,191
That's always the right thing to do.
250
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,316
I'm drinking Seltzer.
251
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,553
I'm in a formal gown with elasto waist.
I really fit in here.
252
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,475
Do you realise you're growing
a tiny penis inside you?
253
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,519
- That's so sci-fi.
- My God, you're having a boy!
254
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,319
Are you so excited?
255
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,832
Two glasses of French fizz
and a soda for you.
256
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,673
Did you know Miranda's
having a boy?
257
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,117
I'm going to hurt myself.
258
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,754
I trust you're finding something
noteworthy for your column?
259
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,879
Look at you! I can think of a few other
places to put my column.
260
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,429
- Dream on.
- Never hurts to ask.
261
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,512
I'm sure you know,
but guess which hotel king
262
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,355
is having very private relations
with a very public woman?
263
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,476
The cat's out of the bag.
264
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,712
It's out of the bag.
Look at them together.
265
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,396
Judith McBain, she's insatiable.
266
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,439
Word is, they've done it
in every one of his hotels.
267
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,752
- Excuse me.
- Good chatting with you, Jonesy.
268
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,832
Samantha could handle the press,
but not the truth.
269
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,438
Fucking Richard is fucking everyone.
For the first time, I actually give a shit.
270
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,513
I think I have monogamy.
I must have caught it from you.
271
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,116
There are a lot of guys here,
but I don't want to fuck them!
272
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,236
Not him or him.
273
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,676
What about this guy here?
He asked if I knew you.
274
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,796
No, I'm not interested.
Dammit, I'm not well.
275
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,270
- At least you're not divorced.
- Tell Richard how you feel.
276
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:27,230
I can't do that. He likes me
because I'm immune to this bullshit.
277
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,234
There goes Judith McBitch
heading for Richard.
278
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,517
I'm going to go over there
and be completely calm
279
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,194
and completely professional.
280
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:41,990
Millions of people suffer from monogamy.
There is no known cure.
281
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,071
I'm so sorry.
282
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,798
- Great turnout.
- This is purely professional.
283
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,876
- How many women are you fucking?
- This isn't the Black and Blue ball.
284
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,551
As your publicist, I must tell you
all this bed hopping is tacky.
285
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,631
It makes investors nervous...
286
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:09,191
- It makes you nervous, too.
- As your publicist, yes, it does.
287
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,830
So grow up. Stop fucking other women.
Just fuck me.
288
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,833
Come on.
289
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,276
We're not the monotonous...
I mean, monogamous type.
290
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,635
Maybe I am.
291
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,391
Gorgeous, I'm not.
292
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,032
Fine.
293
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,598
Got any good dish for me?
294
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,034
In fact, she did.
295
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,317
Samantha gave JJ an exclusive,
296
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,950
just to prove to herself
that she was not.
297
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,469
Shit! Just a minute.
298
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,791
It wasn't the first time
a guy went soft on Samantha,
299
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,758
but it was the first time
she didn't care.
300
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,876
This never happens to me.
301
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,271
I can give you a list of women
it's never happened with.
302
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,829
That won't be necessary.
303
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,798
I want you to call Anna Bonny
at 9577297.
304
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,110
Or Lisa Yelland at 459...
305
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,831
There you are.
306
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:11,199
I was too quick back there. If someone
can keep monotony interesting...
307
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,316
Man of the hour.
308
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,956
You'll never change.
I wouldn't want you to.
309
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,951
Let's stay as we were.
310
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:26,476
This doesn't count.
He couldn't even stay hard.
311
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,790
Good seeing you, JJ.
312
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,988
Don't say it, Limp Dick!
313
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,879
That's a very good look for you.
314
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,476
I think we both look sharp tonight.
315
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,837
You've never looked prettier,
my friend.
316
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,832
Let's get married tonight.
317
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,992
You've got this beautiful
white dress on,
318
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,391
I've got this tux for another 13 hours.
319
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,196
Let's just do it!
320
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,796
Let's get in a cab. Airport. Vegas.
321
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,710
No muss, no fuss.
322
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,555
- Aidan, this isn't funny.
- Seriously. Come on!
323
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,190
We can get married tonight.
324
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,437
We wake up tomorrow, it's done.
325
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,718
We're still us.
We don't even have to tell anybody.
326
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,389
- What about what we discussed?
- You're just scared.
327
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,869
Yes, I'm scared.
328
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:40,555
- We talked about this.
- No. You talked and I listened.
329
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:44,269
I looked at you tonight
from across the room
330
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,749
and I thought: "l love her.
331
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,992
"She loves me.
What are we waiting for?"
332
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,118
Because I need more time.
333
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:57,512
What's going to change?
I don't have any tricks up my sleeve.
334
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,877
- This is who I am.
- This isn't about you.
335
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,235
I'm not ready for marriage.
336
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,393
I am. I'm sorry
if that scares you, but I am.
337
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,997
People fall in love, they get married.
That's what they do.
338
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,549
Not necessarily.
339
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,119
Why can't we just keep things
the way they are?
340
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:26,068
- Just live together.
- I don't want to live together.
341
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,153
I've had girlfriends for 20 years.
I want you to be my wife.
342
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,709
You're pushing me.
343
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,190
Maybe you need to be pushed.
It's just a piece of paper.
344
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:40,319
If it's just a piece of paper,
then why do we need it?
345
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,710
Because I need it!
346
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,589
I want to make this official,
lock this thing down.
347
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,070
I want the whole world to know
that you're mine.
348
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,834
Who else's would I be?
349
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,157
Oh, my God.
350
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,709
- You still don't trust me.
- The ring's not even on your finger.
351
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,917
I am yours.
There is nobody else!
352
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,959
I love you, but I can't marry you
to make you trust me.
353
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,071
Look at me.
354
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,078
Look at me
before we make a huge mistake.
355
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:28,351
If you don't want to marry me now,
you'll never want to marry me.
356
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,831
- That's not true.
- I think it is.
357
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,633
I'll sleep in the other apartment
tonight.
358
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,870
Really?
359
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:52,192
- Yeah, really.
- Just for tonight?
360
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,274
I can't believe I'm back here again.
361
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,799
We had left the land of black and white.
Now everything was grey.
362
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:18,272
On the outside, Miranda's
maternal gene might never kick in.
363
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:26,956
But that night, she felt a real
kick from deep inside.
364
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,269
There are some walls you can push
through and some you can't.
365
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:17,076
That was the only night we would ever
spend on the other side of the wall.
366
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,632
The next day, Aidan moved out.
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,436
When a marriage breaks up,
there are numerous ways to cope.
2
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,477
You can cry, you can move.
3
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,473
It's left right, not right left.
4
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,791
Or, as Charlotte did, dive in
to a new routine. A tap routine.
5
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,192
I feel good. I even signed up
for sculpture and tap dancing class.
6
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,717
- You can't do one without the other.
- Everyone tells me to grieve.
7
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:40,715
I don't need time. This divorce
is going to be clean and swift.
8
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,835
Oh, my God!
I thought that was you!
9
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,470
There it was. The unmistakable
voice of Susan Sharon.
10
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,518
- So what's new?
- Same old same old.
11
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,069
Just writing, gallivanting, eating.
12
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,434
The usual.
13
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,631
You're forgetting
the most important thing.
14
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,271
- They're engaged.
- You're getting married?
15
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,192
Oh, my God!
16
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,874
Oh, Aidan. Mazel tov.
17
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,270
Let me see. Where's the...?
18
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,352
It's here.
It's right here. See?
19
00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,349
Why is it round your neck?
Is that what people do now?
20
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,513
No, it's just me.
It's closer to my heart this way.
21
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,558
So, spring wedding?
Fall wedding?
22
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,157
- Where are you doing it?
- We haven't thought about that stuff.
23
00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:42,110
You'd better chop chop, missy.
These places book up...years and years.
24
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,678
OK, the wedding...
25
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,676
The next morning,
a hotel mogul and his publicist
26
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,434
began another gruelling day at work.
27
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,596
- Can I help you?
- You're gorgeous.
28
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,512
Tell me something I don't know.
29
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,752
As intimate as their personal
affair had become,
30
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:05,040
when it came to business, Samantha
remained cool and professional.
31
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,116
Guess Who?
Sightings...
32
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,118
In theory.
33
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,553
- JJ Mitchell.
- JJ, Samantha Jones.
34
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,598
I have your column.
I'm very disappointed.
35
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,276
I thought you'd suck my dick for getting
Richard's name in the paper.
36
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,592
We'll talk about your dick later.
Richard and Bebe London? Bullshit!
37
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,275
I know he's canoodling with one woman
and it's not her.
38
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,830
Guess which publicist
can't keep track of her client?
39
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,231
Guess which two-bit columnist
talks out of his ass?
40
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,437
I'd rather be talking
out of your ass, Jonesy...
41
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,036
JJ Mitchell says you canoodled
with Bebe London. He's an idiot.
42
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,395
All press is good press, right?
43
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,716
- So you were canoodling?
- Is that a problem?
44
00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:01,876
No, I just need to get all the facts
so I can do my job.
45
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,479
Take a break
and get that sexy ass in here.
46
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,633
To drown out thoughts of Richard
canoodling with Bebe London,
47
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,075
Samantha focused on her canoodle.
48
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,073
In a more modest shower uptown...
49
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,790
- Have we met?
- Can I get in?
50
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,236
Got a guy coming round.
It's really coming along over there.
51
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,710
The walls are coming down,
the wash-and-dryer's on the way.
52
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:44,637
Oh, the washer and dryer I've been
dreaming about my whole New York life!
53
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:49,191
Here's something else to chew on.
How about Hawaii?
54
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,079
- As what, the 50th state?
- As in we get hitched.
55
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,835
Grab a couple of friends,
down some Mai Tais, tie the knot.
56
00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,232
- We can get Maui-ed.
- Did you just pun in the nude?
57
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,035
What did I tell you about that?
Give me the soap.
58
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,232
- What do you think?
- About Hawaii?
59
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:14,113
Do I look like a
surf's-up kind of bride to you?
60
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:19,119
- My grass skirt days are over.
- How about Aspen?
61
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,951
Christmas time in Aspen.
62
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,954
You, me, a polar bear, a judge.
How does that sound?
63
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,159
For a shower
with so little water pressure,
64
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,675
I felt a ton of it on my shoulders.
65
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:40,317
Here's the spine, right here.
Isn't that incredible?
66
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,119
Here's the heart beating.
67
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,592
- See?
- Kind of. I think so.
68
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,555
Do you want to know the sex?
69
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,437
Sure?
70
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,708
It's a boy.
71
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,439
It's a boy!
How do you feel?
72
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,992
Great! A boy!
73
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,310
Boy, oh boy.
74
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,874
- I just faked a sonogram.
- I'm sorry?
75
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:24,192
I was lying there,
getting a guided tour of my uterus.
76
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,990
- She tells me I'm having a boy...
- Oh, my God! Miranda!
77
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,720
- You're having a boy!
- You see? That.
78
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,919
That's what she wanted,
but I couldn't get it up so I faked it.
79
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:40,517
What does a fake sonogram look like
in case I ever need to do it?
80
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,951
Everyone is glowing about my pregnancy.
When will l?
81
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,874
I get the same every time
someone hears I'm engaged.
82
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,749
I'm supposed to be excited
about picking a date and a place.
83
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,514
I just want to lie down
and take a nap.
84
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,559
- I feel like a deadbeat bride.
- So don't do all that stuff.
85
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,950
I'd better do something soon.
86
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,398
I'm getting the feeling
my grace period is O-V-E-R.
87
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:12,190
I don't even want to look for a dress.
Me! No dress! What's wrong here?
88
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,239
Maybe it's like the dentist.
You put it off and put it off.
89
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,392
Finally you go
and afterwards you feel great.
90
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,835
I have to go to the dentist.
91
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,753
Wait.
I'm having a radical idea.
92
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,992
There's a horrible bridal shop
two blocks away.
93
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,799
- We could go...
- How do you know this?
94
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,032
Every time I pass by it,
I go bleugh!
95
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,671
You could try on the worst dress.
Face the dragon, get it over with.
96
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:42,469
Then I'll treat you to a Tasty Delight.
It's aversion shock therapy.
97
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,234
You want me to try on
a bad wedding dress?
98
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,676
You'll have to do better
than Tasty Delight.
99
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,195
I'll try one on, too.
100
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,472
Ladies.
101
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,872
My friend Miranda is getting married,
so we want something special.
102
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,076
We're in kind of a hurry.
103
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,310
For Carrie here,
104
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,472
we were thinking of something
with a lot of bows.
105
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,677
We want her to look like
a giant cupcake.
106
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,959
Which one of you is getting married?
107
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,793
We both are.
We do everything together.
108
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,238
Miranda has everything but the gown.
And the groom.
109
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,391
Is this a lesbian wedding?
110
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,916
No. It's a very straight-laced,
conservative crowd.
111
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,676
- A lot of Wall Street types.
- I'll see what I can find.
112
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,673
Your rehearsal dinner's going to rock.
113
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,117
On the count of three.
114
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,600
One, two...
115
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,872
Look at you!
116
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,589
Stop! I'm going to pee in this thing!
Look at you!
117
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,911
Hold still! You need a veil.
118
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,392
Look. Look!
119
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,636
I look beautiful.
You can't tell I'm pregnant.
120
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,109
The sleeves balance out the tummy.
121
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,910
This is too tight. I can't breathe.
Can you get it off me?
122
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,913
- Are you kidding?
- No, I'm not kidding!
123
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,392
- You don't want her to come back.
- Get it off! I can't breathe!
124
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,916
There's a million buttons.
125
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,868
- Your back is all wet!
- Just get it off! Rip it off!
126
00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:41,716
Oh, my God.
127
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,836
What just happened?
128
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,788
- I can't get married.
- This is all your fault!
129
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,270
- You took her to that dump?
- It was an experiment.
130
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,557
- It went awry.
- Let's just slow down.
131
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,713
- Let's not do anything rash.
- Rash. Exactly. Look at this.
132
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,590
My body is literally
rejecting the idea of marriage.
133
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,399
Once you get a rash,
it's time to go.
134
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:11,395
It's not him, it's me. I'm missing
the bride gene. I should be studied.
135
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,757
- I don't want to get married either.
- Ever?
136
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,391
Why do we have to get married?
Give me one good reason.
137
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:24,839
Aside from not wanting to die alone,
which is something to think about.
138
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,470
When it was good,
it gave me a sense of security.
139
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:33,031
But I feel secure now.
Things are great with us.
140
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,714
- "lf it ain't broke..."
- Don't marry it!
141
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,156
- What are you afraid would change?
- I don't know.
142
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,276
Nothing? Everything?
143
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,797
- Every bride feels that way.
- Why aren't they speaking up?
144
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:50,397
I'm going to ask you an unpleasant
question. Why did you ever say yes?
145
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,630
Because I love him.
146
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,554
A man you love kneels in the street
147
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,553
and offers you a ring.
You say yes.
148
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,349
Get married and hope it works.
If it doesn't, get divorced.
149
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,670
Take tap with Bojangles here.
150
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:10,914
I can't take a vow of forever
if I mean for the foreseeable future.
151
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,640
- I can't do that to Aidan.
- Talk to him.
152
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,950
How do you talk about this?
153
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:21,114
"Hi, Aidan. I've been having
some doubts." It will break his heart.
154
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,999
I shouldn't have said yes.
I'm a bad person.
155
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,516
In a court, reasonable doubt
gets you off for murder.
156
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,399
In an engagement,
it makes you a bad person.
157
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,677
Everyone has anxiety about weddings.
158
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,798
Maybe your anxiety threshold is low.
159
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,192
Interesting theory. Do you think
the dress is still in that dumpster?
160
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,235
After being hit by a bridal wave,
161
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:50,076
I tried to get my mind around
the concept of happily ever after.
162
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,878
As progressive
as our society claims to be,
163
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,635
there are still life targets
we're all supposed to hit.
164
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,475
Marriage, babies,
and a home to call your own.
165
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,916
What if instead of a smile,
you break out in a rash?
166
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,117
Is something wrong with the system
or is it you?
167
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:13,910
Do we really want these things?
Or are we just programmed?
168
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,795
In a crisis, people always tell you
to listen to your gut.
169
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,032
Mine was telling me
to start smoking again.
170
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,556
Marlboro Lights, please.
171
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,950
But I decided
not to throw it all away.
172
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,954
Actually, just these.
173
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,200
While Aidan worked on the apartment,
174
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,079
I worked on reprogramming
my attitude.
175
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,754
Could I be a spring bride?
176
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,031
Happy bride?
177
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,837
Peekaboo bride?
178
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,115
Stop!
179
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,633
Aidan, stop it!
180
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,595
- Did I knock something down?
- I'm freaking out.
181
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,192
I can't. I cannot...
182
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,830
I'm having a very strong reaction
to all this change.
183
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,755
- Don't freak out.
- I am. It all feels really fast.
184
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,833
- I told you about the hole.
- It's not just the hole!
185
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,913
- It's...
- What?
186
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,080
It's the marriage stuff.
187
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,149
I love you and I'm sorry if I'm not
supposed to talk to you about this,
188
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,713
but I have to.
189
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,952
Come here.
Sit down on the floor.
190
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,190
What's happening?
191
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:12,319
I didn't want to say anything,
192
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,358
but then that thing
came through my wall.
193
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,668
I don't think that I'm ready
to get married yet.
194
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,311
Do you hate me?
195
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,029
You're catching me
a little off guard here.
196
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,990
- I know. I just...
- No, I hear you.
197
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,236
I need a minute here.
198
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,590
Is it because I said
we could get Maui-ed?
199
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,274
Thank you for making a joke.
200
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,073
Let's slow it down.
201
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,879
How much time do you need?
202
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,717
Six months?
203
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,312
Nine months?
204
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,952
- End of the year?
- Which year?
205
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,392
Do you just need some time?
206
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,791
Yeah. I think so.
207
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,439
We'll get there.
208
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,630
Thank you, Aidan.
209
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,154
Thank you for listening.
210
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,593
See the washer-and-dryer
out there?
211
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,430
I love you.
212
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,833
The next day, Miranda enjoyed
a moment of solitude with her bills
213
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,195
and her cleaning lady.
214
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,432
Magda, I'm going to pay you
for a whole month, OK?
215
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,198
Look what I found on kitchen counter.
Is beautiful!
216
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,750
- Did they tell you boy or girl?
- Yes, it's a boy.
217
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,593
A boy!
A boy is coming into the house.
218
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:28,275
The boy is highest blessing.
It's good luck.
219
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,236
Smile.
220
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,194
Smile.
221
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,798
Smile for a boy.
222
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,712
A boy!
223
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,711
A boy!
224
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,953
While Miranda had tea for one,
Charlotte did "Tea For Two".
225
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,271
You're coming across the floor.
226
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,349
Steps up a step for you,
steps up a step for me.
227
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,149
Now two by two. Go!
228
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,994
Next pair.
229
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,513
Nice.
230
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,637
Very nice.
231
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,875
You with the flowers. Go!
232
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,077
- I don't have a partner.
- Just go it alone.
233
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,832
And go!
234
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,514
I don't want to go it alone.
235
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,955
You'll be fine. Come on, flowers.
236
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,596
I can't do this!
237
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,797
I shouldn't have to.
I deserve a real partner.
238
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,872
- And this song is hurtful!
- Should I stop?
239
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,835
You should think about people
who are getting divorced
240
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,278
and come here to have fun
and to feel good about themselves!
241
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,753
In her attempt to skip over her grief,
242
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,196
Charlotte tapped into her pain.
243
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,074
The next week, we all gathered
at the Black and White ball,
244
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,073
Richard Wright's charity fundraiser.
245
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,037
Aidan looks so handsome in a tux!
246
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,875
- How's he doing?
- He's good.
247
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:38,397
Still a little thrown by the change
in plans, but good.
248
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,791
- I hope I did the right thing.
- You followed your feelings.
249
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,191
That's always the right thing to do.
250
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,316
I'm drinking Seltzer.
251
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,553
I'm in a formal gown with elasto waist.
I really fit in here.
252
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,475
Do you realise you're growing
a tiny penis inside you?
253
00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,519
- That's so sci-fi.
- My God, you're having a boy!
254
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,319
Are you so excited?
255
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,832
Two glasses of French fizz
and a soda for you.
256
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,673
Did you know Miranda's
having a boy?
257
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,117
I'm going to hurt myself.
258
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,754
I trust you're finding something
noteworthy for your column?
259
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,879
Look at you! I can think of a few other
places to put my column.
260
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,429
- Dream on.
- Never hurts to ask.
261
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,512
I'm sure you know,
but guess which hotel king
262
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:33,355
is having very private relations
with a very public woman?
263
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,476
The cat's out of the bag.
264
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,712
It's out of the bag.
Look at them together.
265
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,396
Judith McBain, she's insatiable.
266
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,439
Word is, they've done it
in every one of his hotels.
267
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,752
- Excuse me.
- Good chatting with you, Jonesy.
268
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,832
Samantha could handle the press,
but not the truth.
269
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,438
Fucking Richard is fucking everyone.
For the first time, I actually give a shit.
270
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,513
I think I have monogamy.
I must have caught it from you.
271
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,116
There are a lot of guys here,
but I don't want to fuck them!
272
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,236
Not him or him.
273
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,676
What about this guy here?
He asked if I knew you.
274
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,796
No, I'm not interested.
Dammit, I'm not well.
275
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,270
- At least you're not divorced.
- Tell Richard how you feel.
276
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:27,230
I can't do that. He likes me
because I'm immune to this bullshit.
277
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,234
There goes Judith McBitch
heading for Richard.
278
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,517
I'm going to go over there
and be completely calm
279
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,194
and completely professional.
280
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:41,990
Millions of people suffer from monogamy.
There is no known cure.
281
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,071
I'm so sorry.
282
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,798
- Great turnout.
- This is purely professional.
283
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,876
- How many women are you fucking?
- This isn't the Black and Blue ball.
284
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,551
As your publicist, I must tell you
all this bed hopping is tacky.
285
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,631
It makes investors nervous...
286
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:09,191
- It makes you nervous, too.
- As your publicist, yes, it does.
287
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,830
So grow up. Stop fucking other women.
Just fuck me.
288
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:15,833
Come on.
289
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,276
We're not the monotonous...
I mean, monogamous type.
290
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,635
Maybe I am.
291
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,391
Gorgeous, I'm not.
292
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,032
Fine.
293
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,598
Got any good dish for me?
294
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,034
In fact, she did.
295
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,317
Samantha gave JJ an exclusive,
296
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,950
just to prove to herself
that she was not.
297
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,469
Shit! Just a minute.
298
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,791
It wasn't the first time
a guy went soft on Samantha,
299
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,758
but it was the first time
she didn't care.
300
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,876
This never happens to me.
301
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,271
I can give you a list of women
it's never happened with.
302
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,829
That won't be necessary.
303
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,798
I want you to call Anna Bonny
at 9577297.
304
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,110
Or Lisa Yelland at 459...
305
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,831
There you are.
306
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:11,199
I was too quick back there. If someone
can keep monotony interesting...
307
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,316
Man of the hour.
308
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,956
You'll never change.
I wouldn't want you to.
309
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,951
Let's stay as we were.
310
00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:26,476
This doesn't count.
He couldn't even stay hard.
311
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,790
Good seeing you, JJ.
312
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,988
Don't say it, Limp Dick!
313
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,879
That's a very good look for you.
314
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,476
I think we both look sharp tonight.
315
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,837
You've never looked prettier,
my friend.
316
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,832
Let's get married tonight.
317
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,992
You've got this beautiful
white dress on,
318
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,391
I've got this tux for another 13 hours.
319
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,196
Let's just do it!
320
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,796
Let's get in a cab. Airport. Vegas.
321
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,710
No muss, no fuss.
322
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,555
- Aidan, this isn't funny.
- Seriously. Come on!
323
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,190
We can get married tonight.
324
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,437
We wake up tomorrow, it's done.
325
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,718
We're still us.
We don't even have to tell anybody.
326
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,389
- What about what we discussed?
- You're just scared.
327
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,869
Yes, I'm scared.
328
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:40,555
- We talked about this.
- No. You talked and I listened.
329
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:44,269
I looked at you tonight
from across the room
330
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,749
and I thought: "l love her.
331
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,992
"She loves me.
What are we waiting for?"
332
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,118
Because I need more time.
333
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:57,512
What's going to change?
I don't have any tricks up my sleeve.
334
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,877
- This is who I am.
- This isn't about you.
335
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,235
I'm not ready for marriage.
336
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,393
I am. I'm sorry
if that scares you, but I am.
337
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,997
People fall in love, they get married.
That's what they do.
338
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,549
Not necessarily.
339
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,119
Why can't we just keep things
the way they are?
340
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:26,068
- Just live together.
- I don't want to live together.
341
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,153
I've had girlfriends for 20 years.
I want you to be my wife.
342
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,709
You're pushing me.
343
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,190
Maybe you need to be pushed.
It's just a piece of paper.
344
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:40,319
If it's just a piece of paper,
then why do we need it?
345
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,710
Because I need it!
346
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,589
I want to make this official,
lock this thing down.
347
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,070
I want the whole world to know
that you're mine.
348
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,834
Who else's would I be?
349
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,157
Oh, my God.
350
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,709
- You still don't trust me.
- The ring's not even on your finger.
351
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,917
I am yours.
There is nobody else!
352
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,959
I love you, but I can't marry you
to make you trust me.
353
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,071
Look at me.
354
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,078
Look at me
before we make a huge mistake.
355
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:28,351
If you don't want to marry me now,
you'll never want to marry me.
356
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,831
- That's not true.
- I think it is.
357
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,633
I'll sleep in the other apartment
tonight.
358
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,870
Really?
359
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:52,192
- Yeah, really.
- Just for tonight?
360
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,274
I can't believe I'm back here again.
361
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,799
We had left the land of black and white.
Now everything was grey.
362
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:18,272
On the outside, Miranda's
maternal gene might never kick in.
363
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:26,956
But that night, she felt a real
kick from deep inside.
364
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,269
There are some walls you can push
through and some you can't.
365
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:17,076
That was the only night we would ever
spend on the other side of the wall.
366
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,632
The next day, Aidan moved out.
Sex and the City - 4x13 - The Good Fight.en
1
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,909
Someone once said
that two halves make a whole.
2
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,788
When two halves move in together,
it makes a whole lot of stuff.
3
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,314
Where you been
and what you been doing?
4
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,789
I got coffee and the papers,
5
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,033
but the more pressing question is:
what have you been doing?
6
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,158
- I made myself an area.
- I can see that.
7
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,598
I needed a space for work papers
and stuff. Is that OK?
8
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:50,038
Sure. It's just that you're blocking
the bathroom door.
9
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,156
Who needs two bathroom doors?
10
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,154
I do. Me, the one who loves
her two bathroom doors.
11
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,232
- Why do you need two doors?
- If I'm in a hurry,
12
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,356
it's quicker to use that one.
13
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,035
- It's my escape route, in case.
- In case what?
14
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,636
In case rapists come in my window.
Boing...I'm gone.
15
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,236
There's a lot of "boinging"
going on in that bathroom.
16
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,915
It's just going to be like this till we
take over the apartment next door.
17
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,277
Would that be happening in the next
five minutes?
18
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,477
Closing at the end of next week.
19
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,354
Hello, Petie. What's the problem?
It's just boxes, right?
20
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,149
A plant! The man brought
a living thing into my apartment.
21
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,834
I kill everything I bring in there.
22
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,073
- You said yes and he moved in.
- He's taking over whole areas.
23
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,629
That's why I've never lived
with a man.
24
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,236
- They're out an hour after I climax.
- You let them stay an hour?
25
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,393
You'd be surprised how many
can go again after a quick nap.
26
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,189
As soon as I walk in the door,
he's in my face with,
27
00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:00,433
"Who did you see, where did you go,
what do you know?"
28
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,559
I need time to decompress,
just be alone.
29
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,633
There have to be some adjustments.
Relationships are hard.
30
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,315
I miss walking into my apartment
with no one there
31
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,436
and it's all quiet.
32
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,592
I can do that stuff you do
when you're totally alone,
33
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,753
things you would never want
your boyfriend to see you do.
34
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,911
- Like masturbate?
- My SSB:
35
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,719
my secret, single behaviour.
36
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,236
I like to make a stack of saltines
and put grape jelly on them.
37
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,358
I eat them standing up in the kitchen
while reading fashion magazines.
38
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,035
- Why standing up?
- It's weird, but it feels great.
39
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,395
I like to put Vaseline on my hands
40
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,109
and put on conditioning gloves
while watching infomercials.
41
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,953
Before I was married,
I used to study my pores
42
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,477
in a mirror for an hour each night.
I'm afraid Trey will think it's weird.
43
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:54,269
He would.
You can't do that stuff in front of men.
44
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,592
What about you? Anything
you wouldn't want a man to see?
45
00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,590
No.
46
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,796
I believe her.
47
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,075
Don't we have a rule
about those things?
48
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,279
It's my boss. I have to take it.
Samantha Jones.
49
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,270
Richard, it's Sunday.
50
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,998
Fine, I'll see you in an hour.
51
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,152
He wants me to drop
something off this afternoon.
52
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,677
Nice! A little "skyrockets in flight,
afternoon delight"?
53
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,195
- No, it's just work.
- Hardly.
54
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,318
- You're sleeping with him.
- You told them?
55
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,950
I like to gossip on the phone
while pumicing my calluses.
56
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,430
How is he? Spare no detail,
I'm a horny, pregnant person.
57
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,034
I don't want to talk about it.
58
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,790
Samantha likes a guy!
59
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,394
- Samantha likes a guy!
- I do not.
60
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,677
You do or you would tell us
all the dirty details.
61
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,277
We're going to have to ice skate home.
Hell just froze over.
62
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,874
You want details? OK.
63
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,958
He's got the most perfect dick
I've ever seen.
64
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,509
Long, pink, amazing.
65
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,316
It's "dickalicious".
66
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,711
What should I do about Aidan's stuff?
67
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,472
- The girls are coming over for dinner.
- That sounds like fun. What night?
68
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,790
Just the girls.
69
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,438
I have so much more free time
now we're not on the baby track.
70
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,589
Some apartments are cluttered with
physical stuff. Others, emotional stuff.
71
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,716
It's a big readjustment.
72
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,839
I've wanted a baby since I was a girl.
We have a baby room and no baby.
73
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,468
I've got some good news.
74
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,274
Bram Pomander thinks he's snagged us
orchestra seats
75
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,396
to "The Producers" next week.
76
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,517
Charlotte, yes, we're disappointed,
but life goes on.
77
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,433
We still have to find a way
to have a giggle.
78
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,670
Come on, give me a smile.
79
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,354
Investors in Munich.
How do you say "fuck you" in German?
80
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,188
Impressive.
Why do you speak German?
81
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:24,229
A gal has her reasons. That wasn't
"fuck you", it was "fuck me".
82
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,551
That's a negotiation ploy
I haven't tried before.
83
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,872
- Where's the magazine layout?
- Signed, sealed, delivered.
84
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,675
One more thing.
85
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,473
It was perfect:
long, pink, amazing.
86
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,598
I thought about you all weekend.
87
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,555
Maybe I can give you something
to think about all evening.
88
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,794
Bring out that gorgeous dick.
89
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,589
You're getting down on your knees here?
What if my assistant sees you?
90
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,713
I dropped my portfolio.
91
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,790
It may take some time to pick up.
92
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,512
Better get those
while you're down there.
93
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,951
If I'd known you were going to be
so not a loser,
94
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:47,114
- I would have changed after work.
- Or put on some fresh deodorant.
95
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,556
Careful. I was a much younger man
when we first set up this blind date.
96
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,156
You're the one who kept cancelling
to go... Where?
97
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,836
First time, Spain and Rome.
Second time, Luxembourg and Athens.
98
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:07,279
Walker Lewis, fluent in five languages,
was a State Department interpreter.
99
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,797
Seriously, Miranda.
Best blind date I've ever had...
100
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,990
...in the continental USA.
101
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,478
What? Listen,
102
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,474
any reason I can't see you again
before I go to Brussels?
103
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,719
He is so cute and funny and sexy.
104
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,678
I want to have sex with him,
but I don't know.
105
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,037
Can you fuck a guy when you're
carrying another's baby?
106
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,158
If one more person
asks me that today...
107
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,869
I'm not in a relationship
with the father of the baby.
108
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,476
I've rarely heard that used as a plus,
but go on.
109
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,996
Is it tacky?
And beyond tacky, is it safe?
110
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,516
- Let's assume he's a great fuck.
- As so many men are.
111
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,309
Could all that poking
shake the baby loose?
112
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,155
That's silly! Married couples
have sex all the time.
113
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,630
- But what if he's huge?
- As so many men are.
114
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,156
- Could the dick dent the baby?
- What do you think dimples come from?
115
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,070
- That is so cute.
- I try.
116
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,676
I really need
to have sex with him now.
117
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:28,116
Next time he's back,
I'll be too big and he won't want to.
118
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,352
Nothing puts a man off sex
like pregnancy.
119
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,268
This is my last chance.
120
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,194
- Last chance for sex.
- You're not on death row.
121
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,794
Yes, I am.
Dead woman fucking.
122
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,758
It's your body, your life.
You do what's best for you.
123
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,911
Easier said than done.
124
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,073
You can't even ask Aidan not to talk
when you walk in the door.
125
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,832
Hi, Mrs Cohen.
126
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,231
Hold on a second.
Let me help you.
127
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,958
Here we go.
128
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,999
That's a crazy outfit.
129
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,919
- This is my friend, Miranda.
- Hello, Mrs Cohen.
130
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,797
You tell your boy
I'm not leaving for 30 days.
131
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,637
What? But we're closing in a week.
132
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,631
Read the contract!
133
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,597
I didn't think Mrs Cohen could
move any slower,
134
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,876
but apparently she could.
135
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,872
What's up? Where you been?
What do you know?
136
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,952
Brace yourself, partner.
I've been outside.
137
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:47,148
What's up is old lightning rod
next door informs me
138
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,630
she will not be leaving
for 30 days.
139
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,788
I was afraid she was going
to do that.
140
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,355
Fuck! What the fuck
are we going to do now?
141
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,629
Thank you! You hate it, too.
I'm so relieved.
142
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,633
I thought you'd already
changed into a pod.
143
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,519
Invasion of the Single Snatchers.
144
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,679
Of course I hate it.
We cannot live like this.
145
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,596
I've got all my boxes in the hall,
you can't get in the door.
146
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,478
Did you see me?
147
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,871
- Every single time.
- We have to move this stuff out.
148
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,828
We could make some room
if we cleaned out your closet.
149
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,398
Careful!
150
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,870
- OK. Damn! My ears?
- Listen to me.
151
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,192
I have laid out clean towels
on the floor of the bathroom.
152
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:47,751
Gently place the shoes
and boxes on them.
153
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,150
I forgot I had these.
Things are looking up.
154
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,390
How many pairs of shoes
do you need?
155
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,870
That is not the way
to get out of this alive.
156
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,592
I figure I'll need
about half this space.
157
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,275
- I figure you're mentally ill.
- You never wear most of this.
158
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,115
Yet. I never wear most of this stuff yet.
Some day I will.
159
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,512
Like this?
160
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,036
When and where
were you planning to wear this?
161
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,912
Don't do that.
Don't mock the clothes.
162
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,389
For the record, have worn it.
163
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:33,348
December '99.
Union Square, book signing.
164
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,189
- We've got to start somewhere.
- I love this outfit.
165
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,589
I realised I was holding onto
a Roberto Cavalli outfit
166
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,320
and throwing away my relationship.
167
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,357
- OK, it goes.
- Good.
168
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,317
Bye, bye.
169
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,033
Stop it! Pete, stop it!
170
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,077
Oh, my God!
171
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,113
Don't even show it to me!
172
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:13,910
I think I saw turquoise.
That better not be the pair I think.
173
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,593
Goddamit!
174
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:21,197
- That dog owes me $380.
- Fine.
175
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,874
You can't buy it!
It's circa 1996.
176
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:30,512
He's a dog. What's he supposed to do
with all your shit lying around?
177
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,240
My shit wouldn't be lying around
178
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:37,154
if we weren't making room
because your shit is lying around.
179
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:41,199
- You've got more shit than me.
- Look at this place!
180
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,477
It's loaded with your shit.
Look at this bathroom.
181
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,871
Look at all your shit in my bathroom.
182
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:53,068
Who needs five almost empty deodorants?
Are you a crazy bagman?
183
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,789
- They're different smells.
- When have you ever worn musk?
184
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,919
Look at this stuff.
You've got old razors, Rogaine...
185
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,952
- I didn't know you used Rogaine.
- It's preventative.
186
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,839
- Is your hair...?
- I don't want to talk about it!
187
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,675
It seems not only women
have secret, single behaviour.
188
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,035
Don't be going through my stuff!
189
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,715
- You were happy to go through mine!
- Your stuff. Your bathroom.
190
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,678
You always do that.
You never want to let me in.
191
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:27,356
I don't always do anything
and I have let you in.
192
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,432
You're fighting with me
about a stupid outfit.
193
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,353
Shut up. It's Roberto Cavalli.
194
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,829
I threw it away and I love it.
195
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,356
- What more do you want?
- Shut up? Shut up?
196
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,078
Yes, shut up.
197
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,836
- You're telling me to shut up?
- Please, just shut up.
198
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:51,279
I am so sick of your talking all the time.
Don't you ever just shut up?
199
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,317
I'm going to take a walk.
200
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,596
I'm taking a walk.
201
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,275
Stay here with your boxes of shit
and your shoe-eating dog
202
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,752
and knock yourself out putting on
the Rogaine and the speed stick.
203
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,391
This is why I need a second door.
204
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,831
I heard that!
205
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,151
I used to think people who sat alone
at Starbucks writing on laptops
206
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,118
were pretentious posers.
Now I know:
207
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,955
they are people who have recently
moved in with someone.
208
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,795
I wondered how many of them
were mid-fight like myself.
209
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:39,114
The hard thing about fighting in
relationships is that there's no referee.
210
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:44,035
There's no one to tell you
which comments are below the belt.
211
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,317
As a result,
someone usually gets hurt.
212
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:52,190
The closer a couple gets and the more
stuff they have between them,
213
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,591
the harder it is to figure out
why they're yelling.
214
00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:00,390
When it comes to relationships,
I wondered: what are we fighting for?
215
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,589
Hello, my darling. I'm home.
216
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,713
- Is that a surprise for me?
- Yes, it is.
217
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,394
It's just a little silly something.
218
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,835
- What is it?
- Open it.
219
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,794
It's a cardboard baby.
220
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,748
I saw it in the window of a novelty
store next to the hospital.
221
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,639
Now we can relax
because we have one.
222
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,030
Oh, dear...
It was supposed to be funny.
223
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,350
I thought we'd have a chuckle.
224
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,476
Don't talk to me.
225
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,155
It was a novelty store.
The clerk said that...
226
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,276
But to Charlotte,
it was hitting below the belt.
227
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,512
If the meat is a quarter
of an inch thick...
228
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,994
Across town, Miranda decided
it was time to put on the gloves
229
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,469
and come out swinging.
230
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:17,033
Hi, Walker. Miranda. Before you leave
for Brussels on Monday,
231
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,034
how about getting together Friday night?
My apartment, call me.
232
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,830
Pregnant or not, Miranda had needs
and decided to stop fighting them.
233
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,878
Surprisingly,
234
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,874
Samantha developed some secret,
single behaviour of her own.
235
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,312
Seven hours
and a landslide of lattes later,
236
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,836
I vibrated home prepared to admit
how silly I'd been.
237
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,394
That was, until he wasn't prepared
to admit how silly he'd been.
238
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,075
He yelled, then I yelled.
239
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,198
It's been three days
and nothing, not a word.
240
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,999
I'll be damned
if I say I'm sorry first.
241
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:21,631
Trey and I hardly ever yell.
WASPS don't yell, it's genetic.
242
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,190
- More salad anyone?
- No! What's the main course?
243
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:29,353
Relax. Chew. You'll get laid.
You're not meeting him till 10:00.
244
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,511
Beef with Thai noodles.
245
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,797
Richard is thinking
of opening a hotel in Thailand.
246
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,718
Sweetie, it's perfectly OK
to like a guy.
247
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,270
For the last time,
the only thing I like about Richard
248
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,149
is his big, throbbing, rock hard,
perfect dick.
249
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,839
- I forgot it was ladies' night.
- Trey, you shouldn't be here.
250
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,752
Good evening, everyone.
251
00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,999
Hello, Missus.
Still mad, I see.
252
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,916
- I suppose she told you about the baby.
- No, I didn't.
253
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,878
I never want to think about it again.
254
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,679
I was trying to make Charlotte laugh...
255
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,479
- It's not funny.
- Maybe they'll think it is.
256
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,672
We were so tense
about not being able to have one
257
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,549
that I gave Charlotte a cardboard baby.
Isn't that funny?
258
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,233
You're funny. A cardboard baby.
That's funny, right?
259
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,550
It's not funny ha-ha, but silly.
260
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,793
They sell them in novelty stores.
261
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,430
Other people buy them
and the clerk said it was funny.
262
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,876
- Maybe you have to see it.
- Don't bring that in here!
263
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,235
- It's silly.
- Not to me, it isn't.
264
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,075
How would you feel if I gave you
a cut-out of a flaccid penis?
265
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,993
It's not so funny now, is it?
266
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,993
Don't you bring that flat baby in here!
267
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,471
- How dare you talk to me like that?
- They know about your penis problems!
268
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,154
We were in the middle
of a WASP nest.
269
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,515
This is unforgivable.
270
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,958
You're unforgivable for denying me
a baby because of your spoiled needs.
271
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,270
I'm spoiled?
You are spoiled.
272
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,079
Ever since we moved back in...
273
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,958
Samantha Jones.
274
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:31,319
Richard, hello.
No, it's not too late to call.
275
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,199
- Everything but a baby!
- We're going to go.
276
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,191
Good!
277
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,989
Don't talk to my friends like that!
With no baby, they're all I have.
278
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,789
You are the man
who gave me a cardboard baby!
279
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,235
- It was funny!
- No, it wasn't!
280
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,472
Goodnight.
281
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,515
What's so important
that it couldn't wait until...?
282
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,477
This.
283
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,834
Let's get something straight.
I want no part of that.
284
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,833
That turns everything
into a big mess.
285
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,310
We are work and sex.
Nothing more.
286
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:24,395
Now kindly take off those pants
and show me your dick.
287
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,351
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
288
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,879
That's what I'm talking about.
289
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,510
Seeing a bantamweight fight
like Charlotte and Trey's
290
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:27,470
made me thankful that Aidan and I were
still in the banter-weight division.
291
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,191
I'm sorry, too.
292
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,472
That night, I slept in my clothes.
293
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,754
Trey and his baby
slept in the guest room
294
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,868
and Charlotte no longer cared
what Trey thought.
295
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,476
Fuck me! Fuck me
like there's no tomorrow.
296
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,634
For her last meal, the condemned
woman had seconds...
297
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,237
...and thirds.
298
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,474
Samantha met the dawn after a night
of SSB:
299
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,949
sexy, swimming behaviour.
300
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,117
- Dance with me.
- What did I say?
301
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,236
I'm your boss.
302
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,555
It's an order.
303
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,552
Dance.
304
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:26,032
Samantha finally threw in the towel.
305
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,193
All this time, she'd been trying
to make him just a perfect dick,
306
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:34,751
fighting her feelings that
he might be the perfect Richard.
307
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:53,310
Back at the Bradshaw/Shaw residence,
it was business as usual.
308
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,631
What's up, where you been,
who did you see?
309
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,988
- I need you to do something.
- What?
310
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,271
I've never lived with anybody
311
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,876
so I don't know how to say
this correctly, but...
312
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,192
I need you to not talk to me
for one whole hour.
313
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,748
I know that sounds selfish,
314
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,230
but it's just what I need.
Is that OK?
315
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,152
Good.
316
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:38,031
We don't have any other rooms yet,
so I'm going to close these.
317
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,990
Then it's like I'm not here.
318
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,797
For one whole hour, I'm not here.
319
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,751
Thanks.
I love you.
320
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,114
What are you doing out here?
321
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,431
That's the thing about needs:
322
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,798
sometimes when you get them met,
you don't need them any more.
323
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,591
As our 30 days wore on,
324
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,196
Aidan and I miraculously managed
to not kill each other.
325
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,351
But, as I predicted,
326
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,390
the plant was not so lucky.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,909
Someone once said
that two halves make a whole.
2
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,788
When two halves move in together,
it makes a whole lot of stuff.
3
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,314
Where you been
and what you been doing?
4
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,789
I got coffee and the papers,
5
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,033
but the more pressing question is:
what have you been doing?
6
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,158
- I made myself an area.
- I can see that.
7
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,598
I needed a space for work papers
and stuff. Is that OK?
8
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:50,038
Sure. It's just that you're blocking
the bathroom door.
9
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,156
Who needs two bathroom doors?
10
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,154
I do. Me, the one who loves
her two bathroom doors.
11
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,232
- Why do you need two doors?
- If I'm in a hurry,
12
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,356
it's quicker to use that one.
13
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,035
- It's my escape route, in case.
- In case what?
14
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,636
In case rapists come in my window.
Boing...I'm gone.
15
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,236
There's a lot of "boinging"
going on in that bathroom.
16
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,915
It's just going to be like this till we
take over the apartment next door.
17
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,277
Would that be happening in the next
five minutes?
18
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,477
Closing at the end of next week.
19
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,354
Hello, Petie. What's the problem?
It's just boxes, right?
20
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,149
A plant! The man brought
a living thing into my apartment.
21
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,834
I kill everything I bring in there.
22
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,073
- You said yes and he moved in.
- He's taking over whole areas.
23
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,629
That's why I've never lived
with a man.
24
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,236
- They're out an hour after I climax.
- You let them stay an hour?
25
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,393
You'd be surprised how many
can go again after a quick nap.
26
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,189
As soon as I walk in the door,
he's in my face with,
27
00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:00,433
"Who did you see, where did you go,
what do you know?"
28
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,559
I need time to decompress,
just be alone.
29
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,633
There have to be some adjustments.
Relationships are hard.
30
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,315
I miss walking into my apartment
with no one there
31
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,436
and it's all quiet.
32
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,592
I can do that stuff you do
when you're totally alone,
33
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,753
things you would never want
your boyfriend to see you do.
34
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,911
- Like masturbate?
- My SSB:
35
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,719
my secret, single behaviour.
36
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,236
I like to make a stack of saltines
and put grape jelly on them.
37
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,358
I eat them standing up in the kitchen
while reading fashion magazines.
38
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,035
- Why standing up?
- It's weird, but it feels great.
39
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,395
I like to put Vaseline on my hands
40
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,109
and put on conditioning gloves
while watching infomercials.
41
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,953
Before I was married,
I used to study my pores
42
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,477
in a mirror for an hour each night.
I'm afraid Trey will think it's weird.
43
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:54,269
He would.
You can't do that stuff in front of men.
44
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,592
What about you? Anything
you wouldn't want a man to see?
45
00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,590
No.
46
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,796
I believe her.
47
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,075
Don't we have a rule
about those things?
48
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,279
It's my boss. I have to take it.
Samantha Jones.
49
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,270
Richard, it's Sunday.
50
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,998
Fine, I'll see you in an hour.
51
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,152
He wants me to drop
something off this afternoon.
52
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,677
Nice! A little "skyrockets in flight,
afternoon delight"?
53
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,195
- No, it's just work.
- Hardly.
54
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,318
- You're sleeping with him.
- You told them?
55
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,950
I like to gossip on the phone
while pumicing my calluses.
56
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,430
How is he? Spare no detail,
I'm a horny, pregnant person.
57
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,034
I don't want to talk about it.
58
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,790
Samantha likes a guy!
59
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,394
- Samantha likes a guy!
- I do not.
60
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,677
You do or you would tell us
all the dirty details.
61
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,277
We're going to have to ice skate home.
Hell just froze over.
62
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,874
You want details? OK.
63
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,958
He's got the most perfect dick
I've ever seen.
64
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,509
Long, pink, amazing.
65
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,316
It's "dickalicious".
66
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,711
What should I do about Aidan's stuff?
67
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,472
- The girls are coming over for dinner.
- That sounds like fun. What night?
68
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,790
Just the girls.
69
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,438
I have so much more free time
now we're not on the baby track.
70
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,589
Some apartments are cluttered with
physical stuff. Others, emotional stuff.
71
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,716
It's a big readjustment.
72
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,839
I've wanted a baby since I was a girl.
We have a baby room and no baby.
73
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,468
I've got some good news.
74
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,274
Bram Pomander thinks he's snagged us
orchestra seats
75
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,396
to "The Producers" next week.
76
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:52,517
Charlotte, yes, we're disappointed,
but life goes on.
77
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,433
We still have to find a way
to have a giggle.
78
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,670
Come on, give me a smile.
79
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,354
Investors in Munich.
How do you say "fuck you" in German?
80
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,188
Impressive.
Why do you speak German?
81
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:24,229
A gal has her reasons. That wasn't
"fuck you", it was "fuck me".
82
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,551
That's a negotiation ploy
I haven't tried before.
83
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,872
- Where's the magazine layout?
- Signed, sealed, delivered.
84
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,675
One more thing.
85
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,473
It was perfect:
long, pink, amazing.
86
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,598
I thought about you all weekend.
87
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,555
Maybe I can give you something
to think about all evening.
88
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,794
Bring out that gorgeous dick.
89
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,589
You're getting down on your knees here?
What if my assistant sees you?
90
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,713
I dropped my portfolio.
91
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,790
It may take some time to pick up.
92
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,512
Better get those
while you're down there.
93
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,951
If I'd known you were going to be
so not a loser,
94
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:47,114
- I would have changed after work.
- Or put on some fresh deodorant.
95
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,556
Careful. I was a much younger man
when we first set up this blind date.
96
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,156
You're the one who kept cancelling
to go... Where?
97
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,836
First time, Spain and Rome.
Second time, Luxembourg and Athens.
98
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:07,279
Walker Lewis, fluent in five languages,
was a State Department interpreter.
99
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,797
Seriously, Miranda.
Best blind date I've ever had...
100
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,990
...in the continental USA.
101
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,478
What? Listen,
102
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,474
any reason I can't see you again
before I go to Brussels?
103
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,719
He is so cute and funny and sexy.
104
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,678
I want to have sex with him,
but I don't know.
105
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,037
Can you fuck a guy when you're
carrying another's baby?
106
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,158
If one more person
asks me that today...
107
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,869
I'm not in a relationship
with the father of the baby.
108
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,476
I've rarely heard that used as a plus,
but go on.
109
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,996
Is it tacky?
And beyond tacky, is it safe?
110
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,516
- Let's assume he's a great fuck.
- As so many men are.
111
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,309
Could all that poking
shake the baby loose?
112
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,155
That's silly! Married couples
have sex all the time.
113
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,630
- But what if he's huge?
- As so many men are.
114
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,156
- Could the dick dent the baby?
- What do you think dimples come from?
115
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,070
- That is so cute.
- I try.
116
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,676
I really need
to have sex with him now.
117
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:28,116
Next time he's back,
I'll be too big and he won't want to.
118
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,352
Nothing puts a man off sex
like pregnancy.
119
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,268
This is my last chance.
120
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,194
- Last chance for sex.
- You're not on death row.
121
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,794
Yes, I am.
Dead woman fucking.
122
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,758
It's your body, your life.
You do what's best for you.
123
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,911
Easier said than done.
124
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,073
You can't even ask Aidan not to talk
when you walk in the door.
125
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,832
Hi, Mrs Cohen.
126
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,231
Hold on a second.
Let me help you.
127
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,958
Here we go.
128
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,999
That's a crazy outfit.
129
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,919
- This is my friend, Miranda.
- Hello, Mrs Cohen.
130
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,797
You tell your boy
I'm not leaving for 30 days.
131
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,637
What? But we're closing in a week.
132
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,631
Read the contract!
133
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,597
I didn't think Mrs Cohen could
move any slower,
134
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,876
but apparently she could.
135
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,872
What's up? Where you been?
What do you know?
136
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,952
Brace yourself, partner.
I've been outside.
137
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:47,148
What's up is old lightning rod
next door informs me
138
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,630
she will not be leaving
for 30 days.
139
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,788
I was afraid she was going
to do that.
140
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,355
Fuck! What the fuck
are we going to do now?
141
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,629
Thank you! You hate it, too.
I'm so relieved.
142
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,633
I thought you'd already
changed into a pod.
143
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,519
Invasion of the Single Snatchers.
144
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,679
Of course I hate it.
We cannot live like this.
145
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,596
I've got all my boxes in the hall,
you can't get in the door.
146
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,478
Did you see me?
147
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,871
- Every single time.
- We have to move this stuff out.
148
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,828
We could make some room
if we cleaned out your closet.
149
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,398
Careful!
150
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,870
- OK. Damn! My ears?
- Listen to me.
151
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,192
I have laid out clean towels
on the floor of the bathroom.
152
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:47,751
Gently place the shoes
and boxes on them.
153
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,150
I forgot I had these.
Things are looking up.
154
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,390
How many pairs of shoes
do you need?
155
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,870
That is not the way
to get out of this alive.
156
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,592
I figure I'll need
about half this space.
157
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:11,275
- I figure you're mentally ill.
- You never wear most of this.
158
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,115
Yet. I never wear most of this stuff yet.
Some day I will.
159
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,512
Like this?
160
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,036
When and where
were you planning to wear this?
161
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,912
Don't do that.
Don't mock the clothes.
162
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,389
For the record, have worn it.
163
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:33,348
December '99.
Union Square, book signing.
164
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,189
- We've got to start somewhere.
- I love this outfit.
165
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,589
I realised I was holding onto
a Roberto Cavalli outfit
166
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,320
and throwing away my relationship.
167
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,357
- OK, it goes.
- Good.
168
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,317
Bye, bye.
169
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,033
Stop it! Pete, stop it!
170
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,077
Oh, my God!
171
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,113
Don't even show it to me!
172
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:13,910
I think I saw turquoise.
That better not be the pair I think.
173
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,593
Goddamit!
174
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:21,197
- That dog owes me $380.
- Fine.
175
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,874
You can't buy it!
It's circa 1996.
176
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:30,512
He's a dog. What's he supposed to do
with all your shit lying around?
177
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,240
My shit wouldn't be lying around
178
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:37,154
if we weren't making room
because your shit is lying around.
179
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:41,199
- You've got more shit than me.
- Look at this place!
180
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,477
It's loaded with your shit.
Look at this bathroom.
181
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,871
Look at all your shit in my bathroom.
182
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:53,068
Who needs five almost empty deodorants?
Are you a crazy bagman?
183
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,789
- They're different smells.
- When have you ever worn musk?
184
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,919
Look at this stuff.
You've got old razors, Rogaine...
185
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,952
- I didn't know you used Rogaine.
- It's preventative.
186
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,839
- Is your hair...?
- I don't want to talk about it!
187
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,675
It seems not only women
have secret, single behaviour.
188
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,035
Don't be going through my stuff!
189
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,715
- You were happy to go through mine!
- Your stuff. Your bathroom.
190
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,678
You always do that.
You never want to let me in.
191
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:27,356
I don't always do anything
and I have let you in.
192
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,432
You're fighting with me
about a stupid outfit.
193
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,353
Shut up. It's Roberto Cavalli.
194
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,829
I threw it away and I love it.
195
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,356
- What more do you want?
- Shut up? Shut up?
196
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,078
Yes, shut up.
197
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,836
- You're telling me to shut up?
- Please, just shut up.
198
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:51,279
I am so sick of your talking all the time.
Don't you ever just shut up?
199
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,317
I'm going to take a walk.
200
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,596
I'm taking a walk.
201
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,275
Stay here with your boxes of shit
and your shoe-eating dog
202
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,752
and knock yourself out putting on
the Rogaine and the speed stick.
203
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,391
This is why I need a second door.
204
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,831
I heard that!
205
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,151
I used to think people who sat alone
at Starbucks writing on laptops
206
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,118
were pretentious posers.
Now I know:
207
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,955
they are people who have recently
moved in with someone.
208
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,795
I wondered how many of them
were mid-fight like myself.
209
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:39,114
The hard thing about fighting in
relationships is that there's no referee.
210
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:44,035
There's no one to tell you
which comments are below the belt.
211
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,317
As a result,
someone usually gets hurt.
212
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:52,190
The closer a couple gets and the more
stuff they have between them,
213
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,591
the harder it is to figure out
why they're yelling.
214
00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:00,390
When it comes to relationships,
I wondered: what are we fighting for?
215
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:07,589
Hello, my darling. I'm home.
216
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,713
- Is that a surprise for me?
- Yes, it is.
217
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,394
It's just a little silly something.
218
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,835
- What is it?
- Open it.
219
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,794
It's a cardboard baby.
220
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,748
I saw it in the window of a novelty
store next to the hospital.
221
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,639
Now we can relax
because we have one.
222
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,030
Oh, dear...
It was supposed to be funny.
223
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,350
I thought we'd have a chuckle.
224
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,476
Don't talk to me.
225
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,155
It was a novelty store.
The clerk said that...
226
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,276
But to Charlotte,
it was hitting below the belt.
227
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,512
If the meat is a quarter
of an inch thick...
228
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,994
Across town, Miranda decided
it was time to put on the gloves
229
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:11,469
and come out swinging.
230
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:17,033
Hi, Walker. Miranda. Before you leave
for Brussels on Monday,
231
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:21,034
how about getting together Friday night?
My apartment, call me.
232
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,830
Pregnant or not, Miranda had needs
and decided to stop fighting them.
233
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,878
Surprisingly,
234
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,874
Samantha developed some secret,
single behaviour of her own.
235
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,312
Seven hours
and a landslide of lattes later,
236
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,836
I vibrated home prepared to admit
how silly I'd been.
237
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,394
That was, until he wasn't prepared
to admit how silly he'd been.
238
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,075
He yelled, then I yelled.
239
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:14,198
It's been three days
and nothing, not a word.
240
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,999
I'll be damned
if I say I'm sorry first.
241
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:21,631
Trey and I hardly ever yell.
WASPS don't yell, it's genetic.
242
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,190
- More salad anyone?
- No! What's the main course?
243
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:29,353
Relax. Chew. You'll get laid.
You're not meeting him till 10:00.
244
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,511
Beef with Thai noodles.
245
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,797
Richard is thinking
of opening a hotel in Thailand.
246
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,718
Sweetie, it's perfectly OK
to like a guy.
247
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,270
For the last time,
the only thing I like about Richard
248
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,149
is his big, throbbing, rock hard,
perfect dick.
249
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,839
- I forgot it was ladies' night.
- Trey, you shouldn't be here.
250
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,752
Good evening, everyone.
251
00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,999
Hello, Missus.
Still mad, I see.
252
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,916
- I suppose she told you about the baby.
- No, I didn't.
253
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,878
I never want to think about it again.
254
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,679
I was trying to make Charlotte laugh...
255
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,479
- It's not funny.
- Maybe they'll think it is.
256
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,672
We were so tense
about not being able to have one
257
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,549
that I gave Charlotte a cardboard baby.
Isn't that funny?
258
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,233
You're funny. A cardboard baby.
That's funny, right?
259
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,550
It's not funny ha-ha, but silly.
260
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,793
They sell them in novelty stores.
261
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,430
Other people buy them
and the clerk said it was funny.
262
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,876
- Maybe you have to see it.
- Don't bring that in here!
263
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,235
- It's silly.
- Not to me, it isn't.
264
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,075
How would you feel if I gave you
a cut-out of a flaccid penis?
265
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,993
It's not so funny now, is it?
266
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,993
Don't you bring that flat baby in here!
267
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,471
- How dare you talk to me like that?
- They know about your penis problems!
268
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,154
We were in the middle
of a WASP nest.
269
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,515
This is unforgivable.
270
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:18,958
You're unforgivable for denying me
a baby because of your spoiled needs.
271
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,270
I'm spoiled?
You are spoiled.
272
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,079
Ever since we moved back in...
273
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,958
Samantha Jones.
274
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:31,319
Richard, hello.
No, it's not too late to call.
275
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,199
- Everything but a baby!
- We're going to go.
276
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,191
Good!
277
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,989
Don't talk to my friends like that!
With no baby, they're all I have.
278
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,789
You are the man
who gave me a cardboard baby!
279
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,235
- It was funny!
- No, it wasn't!
280
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,472
Goodnight.
281
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,515
What's so important
that it couldn't wait until...?
282
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,477
This.
283
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,834
Let's get something straight.
I want no part of that.
284
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,833
That turns everything
into a big mess.
285
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,310
We are work and sex.
Nothing more.
286
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:24,395
Now kindly take off those pants
and show me your dick.
287
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,351
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
288
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,879
That's what I'm talking about.
289
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,510
Seeing a bantamweight fight
like Charlotte and Trey's
290
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:27,470
made me thankful that Aidan and I were
still in the banter-weight division.
291
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,191
I'm sorry, too.
292
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,472
That night, I slept in my clothes.
293
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,754
Trey and his baby
slept in the guest room
294
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,868
and Charlotte no longer cared
what Trey thought.
295
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,476
Fuck me! Fuck me
like there's no tomorrow.
296
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,634
For her last meal, the condemned
woman had seconds...
297
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,237
...and thirds.
298
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,474
Samantha met the dawn after a night
of SSB:
299
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,949
sexy, swimming behaviour.
300
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,117
- Dance with me.
- What did I say?
301
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,236
I'm your boss.
302
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,555
It's an order.
303
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,552
Dance.
304
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:26,032
Samantha finally threw in the towel.
305
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,193
All this time, she'd been trying
to make him just a perfect dick,
306
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:34,751
fighting her feelings that
he might be the perfect Richard.
307
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:53,310
Back at the Bradshaw/Shaw residence,
it was business as usual.
308
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,631
What's up, where you been,
who did you see?
309
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,988
- I need you to do something.
- What?
310
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,271
I've never lived with anybody
311
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,876
so I don't know how to say
this correctly, but...
312
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,192
I need you to not talk to me
for one whole hour.
313
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,748
I know that sounds selfish,
314
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,230
but it's just what I need.
Is that OK?
315
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,152
Good.
316
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:38,031
We don't have any other rooms yet,
so I'm going to close these.
317
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,990
Then it's like I'm not here.
318
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,797
For one whole hour, I'm not here.
319
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,751
Thanks.
I love you.
320
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,114
What are you doing out here?
321
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,431
That's the thing about needs:
322
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,798
sometimes when you get them met,
you don't need them any more.
323
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,591
As our 30 days wore on,
324
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,196
Aidan and I miraculously managed
to not kill each other.
325
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:45,351
But, as I predicted,
326
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,390
the plant was not so lucky.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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