Sex and the City - 4x10 - Belles of the Balls.en

1
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,397
There are a million reasons
to celebrate in New York:

2
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,596
Steve no longer having testicular cancer

3
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,796
was just one of them.

4
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,598
I only have one ball left.

5
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,912
I don't care who wins.

6
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,230
It's me and you after this.

7
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,676
It all comes down to just one little ball.

8
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,559
Who wants a beer?

9
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,713
One ball? One ball?

10
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,348
I wasn't thinking.
Was he upset?

11
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,354
- Embarrassed, I think.
- No need. He's still got one.

12
00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:01,594
- They come in a set like earrings.
- I'd be sitting at home depressed.

13
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,716
Why would you be depressed

14
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,632
if you were perfectly healthy

15
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,552
but had to live without balls?

16
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,472
I was talking to Aidan.

17
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,278
Maybe it's bullshit,

18
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,237
but I might feel less of a man.

19
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,517
Hanging glands
don't make somebody a man.

20
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,477
I once went out with a guy

21
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,677
with the biggest balls I've seen.
Complete pussy.

22
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,632
- How big?
- Huge.

23
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,553
I could barely fit one in my mouth.

24
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,636
Welcome to my world.

25
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:34,271
The irony is that women don't care
that much about balls.

26
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,876
- Do you, Carrie?
- Except for yours. I'm into yours.

27
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,873
I have never met a man
who wasn't into his balls.

28
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,235
"Oh yeah, baby, that's it.

29
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,392
"Grab my big balls.
Lick them, pull them."

30
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,678
- You pull the balls?
- They like it. I went out with...

31
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,798
- I'm sure you did.
- Let her finish.

32
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,428
She's done. Now, I'm thinking,

33
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,158
balls are to men

34
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,072
what purses are to women.

35
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,198
Just a little bag, but we'd feel
naked in public without it.

36
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,590
Samantha Jones.

37
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,994
- How are you?
- Great.

38
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,756
- Everyone, this is...
- Allan. Allan Janice.

39
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,876
- Right. We...
- Fucked.

40
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,598
Fucked!

41
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,638
I knew I knew you.
How the hell are you?

42
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,189
Just designed
a Richard Wright hotel.

43
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,035
I've been trying to meet him for months.
Who's doing his PR?

44
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,111
He's talking to Brad Rosen.

45
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,714
He's a hack.
Get me a meeting?

46
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,474
- I'll do what I can.
- Good seeing you.

47
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,154
- Allan.
- I know.

48
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,231
On Park Avenue,
a different reason for celebrating.

49
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,439
I told him when I hire a contractor,
I expect him to finish on time.

50
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,559
Good, honey. Sometimes they need
to hear it from a man.

51
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,553
A little more moo shu, my moo shu?

52
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,635
I told my doctor how frustrated
we were that we weren't pregnant yet.

53
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,951
She said the easiest thing to do
is to test your sperm.

54
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,472
Charlotte, I'm eating.

55
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,473
Can I have my moo shu
without a side of sperm?

56
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,756
Why are you getting so mad?

57
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,559
It's only been three months!

58
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,871
Why leap to the conclusion
that the problem is me?

59
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:26,318
I'm not. It's just easier to test
the man first, less invasive.

60
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,518
I'm sure your sperm is fine.
It's better than fine, it's fantastic.

61
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,672
This subject matter
has put me off my dinner.

62
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,717
Excuse me.

63
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,755
- Honey.
- Not now!

64
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,314
- Do men?
- Do men what?

65
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,790
- Like them pulled?
- How do I know?

66
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,872
- Do you?
- Do I what?

67
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,600
- Like them pulled?
- How do I know?

68
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,598
Let's give them a little tug and see.

69
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,558
You want to give them a tug?

70
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,471
- You'll do it too hard!
- No.

71
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,678
All right.

72
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,795
You've been saved by the bell.

73
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,157
How can we hurt you?

74
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,799
Hello?

75
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,112
It's me. Sorry to call you this late.
Is Carrie there?

76
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,758
- Just a sec.
- Who is it?

77
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,630
It's me.
I need to talk to you.

78
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,877
It's not a good time.
We're about to go to bed.

79
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:50,158
- Willow is fucking with my head. Please.
- All right.

80
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:55,028
He's having girlfriend problems.
I'll be just a minute.

81
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:02,431
Apparently, dating a movie star makes
you as crazy as dating anyone else.

82
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:07,037
She's in town. We were going to meet,
she hasn't got back to me.

83
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:12,479
- Did you call her?
- I called all five of her numbers.

84
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:16,474
She never answers.
Here's the thing.

85
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,950
She can reach me,
but I can't ever get her.

86
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,714
- Maybe she never got your...
- You don't get it.

87
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,950
She can reach me,

88
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,953
but I can't get her. Ever!

89
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,556
- How fucked up is that?
- I don't know. Very?

90
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,597
- I thought everything was great.
- It was.

91
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,832
I flew out to LA to take her
to that MTV award thing.

92
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,275
I'd better feel sorry for you soon.

93
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,956
Then she dissed me. I was following
her around like a goddamn dog.

94
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,791
Just one more minute.

95
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:54,677
- Listen to this message she left me.
- I've got to go to bed.

96
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,717
Listen to this.

97
00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:01,431
I miss you. I can't wait
until I'm in New York in your arms.

98
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:08,391
- I'm in a New York state of mind.
- New York state of mind?

99
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,791
- Billy Joel. We love that song.
- Goodnight.

100
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,952
- Shall I call her?
- No. Goodnight.

101
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:22,712
I'm sorry. You still want me to give
them a little pull?

102
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,394
Why did you take the phone
in there?

103
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,670
I know you don't like him calling.

104
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:32,799
You tell me nothing's going on,
then nothing's going on.

105
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,748
- You don't have to run in the closet.
- I didn't run.

106
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,595
I went in there because I know
how uncomfortable it makes you.

107
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,320
Uncomfortable for me or you?

108
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:49,110
Me, yes. I'm uncomfortable.
I don't want you to feel threatened.

109
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,272
- You think I'm threatened by him?
- Not threatened.

110
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:57,594
- I could take him.
- Who said anything about taking him?

111
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,354
When Batman and the Green Hornet
fought,

112
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,717
everyone expected Batman to win
because of his gadgets.

113
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,555
But the Green Hornet had the moves.
I'm the Green Hornet.

114
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,996
Plus, I've got Pete
and he's like Kato.

115
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,994
Aren't you, boy? Come here!
Who's your buddy?

116
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,993
He's got him, he's got him!

117
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,390
What do superheroes
have to do with it?

118
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,677
It's a guy thing.
In order to deal with Big,

119
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,513
- he became the Green Lantern.
- Hornet.

120
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,796
I don't care if he's the Green Bee.

121
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,111
I just wish there was a way
for Aidan to understand

122
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,238
that he has nothing to worry about.

123
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,517
Maybe I should get Big,
him and me together.

124
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,874
Did you have a big plate of crazy for lunch?

125
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,630
We could all talk. Aidan could see
once and for all that I love him,

126
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,997
- and Big and I are just friends.
- I don't know.

127
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,790
Keeping my relationship with Big
in the closet only makes things worse.

128
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,916
Guys don't talk, they fight.

129
00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,117
It's all that crazy testosterone.
God bless it.

130
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,878
We're having Trey's sperm tested.

131
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,600
Is it not doing well in school?

132
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,593
We discussed it over dinner
and he blew up.

133
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,389
One minute he was perfectly happy.
The next, furious.

134
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:17,519
It's a side of Trey I've never seen.
It's about the sperm.

135
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,240
That area is like a minefield!

136
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,198
That afternoon,
I thought about my friends:

137
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,318
body image depression,
mood swings,

138
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,472
phones calls obsessing
about a relationship.

139
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,791
Did I mention
these are my male friends?

140
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,839
Maybe men and women
aren't from different planets.

141
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,355
Maybe we live closer to each other.

142
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,398
Perhaps, dare I say it,
in the same zip code.

143
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,950
In view of current circumstances,
I wondered:

144
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,395
are men just women with balls?

145
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,915
Look at that dog's sack.

146
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,036
No, thank you.

147
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,476
You can't enter a dog in a show
if it's only got one ball.

148
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,110
- Where did you hear that?
- Around.

149
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,559
They even make fake dog balls.

150
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,599
They make them for humans, too.

151
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,870
- I'm thinking about getting one.
- Why would you do that?

152
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,076
Women get breast implants.

153
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,038
Trust me.
I've been to the area.

154
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,237
I wouldn't know
if you had one or four.

155
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,549
But I know, every time I look down
at my nuts...

156
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:34,512
Correction: nut.
I look all lopsided.

157
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,671
Women don't care!

158
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,550
We care about nice arms,
great eyes, big dick.

159
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:46,236
I have never heard a woman say,
"He had such a big, full scrotum."

160
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:51,673
I made an appointment with the doctor.
Will you go with me?

161
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,559
Where? Testicle shopping?

162
00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,593
Samantha got her meeting
with hotel magnate Richard Wright,

163
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,274
smart, tough, a real ball-buster.

164
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,589
I've enjoyed meeting you.
But truth be told,

165
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,718
- your r駸um・s all fluff.
- Fluff?

166
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:15,192
- It's just parties and social events.
- What do you do in your hotels?

167
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,715
Nuclear fission?

168
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,836
I admit I'm intrigued.
If I wasn't,

169
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,391
you'd have been in the lobby
ten minutes ago. Here's an idea.

170
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:35,189
I'm talking to Brad Rosen.
You two could share the work.

171
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,669
Five hotels. It's a big job.

172
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:42,709
I know it's a big job. That's why
I'm still here and not in the lobby.

173
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,313
I appreciate your offer
but I don't need a partner.

174
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:53,639
Read between the lines, Ms Jones.
I deal with a lot of business...men.

175
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,032
What are you saying?

176
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,589
That businessmen
would be more comfortable

177
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,593
dealing with a woman working
next to a man?

178
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,830
You have a lot to offer.

179
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,956
You might want to consider
working with a partner

180
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,271
who isn't so emotional.

181
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,830
"Emotional" is code for
"l don't want to hire a woman."

182
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,470
At my firm they think
you'll cry over a legal brief.

183
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,155
- Have you ever cried?
- Only in the privacy of my office.

184
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,517
I cried once at the gallery.
Once in ten years.

185
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,797
From then on, it was,
"Careful! Don't make Charlotte cry!"

186
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,439
I've never cried at work.

187
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,353
I fake cried when I missed a deadline.

188
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,795
I said I was having a bad time
at home,

189
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,679
but was having a good time
in the Hamptons.

190
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,276
- That makes us look bad.
- It was 80ｰ and sunny.

191
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,558
If a guy gets angry, he's a pistol.
A woman, she's emotional.

192
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:50,271
If I say, "That's not high enough",
they say, "Don't make Charlotte cry."

193
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,512
Does he think I'll get my period
and ruin his empire?

194
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:57,195
Men... Wait, let me rephrase that.
Some men...

195
00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,272
That'll look better
on a court transcript of this dinner.

196
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,908
Some are threatened by strong women.

197
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,072
They have to make her
just a woman again, hence,

198
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,595
"You're too emotional."

199
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:12,275
I'm going back in guns blazing,
cool, calm, collected.

200
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,479
I'm going to impress him so much,
he'll beg me to take the job.

201
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,108
Just don't cry.
Once in ten years!

202
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,511
I've got to run
or I'll miss my ride with Aidan.

203
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,830
Then there'll be some tears.

204
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,711
Next day, while Aidan
was tearing down the shed,

205
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:33,476
I was tearing through "lnStyle"
with Big's big movie star on the cover.

206
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,989
- It's me.
- What's the matter?

207
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:46,756
I got the number off your machine.
Where's area code 845?

208
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,798
- We're in the country.
- On a Thursday?

209
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,190
Long weekend. What's wrong?

210
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,594
She broke it off. She said
she never wants to see me again.

211
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,638
- I'm so sorry.
- I don't know what I did.

212
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,712
She won't return my calls.

213
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,713
She can reach me,
but I can't get her.

214
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,189
You mentioned that.

215
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:18,275
She's crazy, I'm telling you.
She has the eyes of a crazy person.

216
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:23,275
I was such a chump!
I really put myself out there

217
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,069
and she drop-kicked me
right in the heart.

218
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,951
- When are you coming back?
- Monday.

219
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,759
Not till Monday?

220
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,838
Fuck.

221
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:46,348
I would invite you out here
but it's just so far away.

222
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,476
How far?

223
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,473
40 minutes,
if there's no traffic.

224
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,076
But with the weekenders,
an hour, maybe even two.

225
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,913
- It's Thursday afternoon.
- Don't you have to work?

226
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,913
I have to see you.
I'll get my Jag out.

227
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:05,119
Maybe the drive will do me good.
I'll come up for an hour, we'll talk,

228
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,555
then I'll head home.

229
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,631
How do I get there?

230
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:24,039
Better close these windows up.
It's going to rain.

231
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,954
Did I hear the phone ring?

232
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,029
- Who was it?
- It was Batman.

233
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,120
I invited him up.

234
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,635
I didn't mean to.
I just got trapped.

235
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,837
That crazy movie star
broke up with him.

236
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,879
He's devastated, has no one to talk to.
Before I knew it,

237
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,998
I told him to make a right
at the sign for farm fresh squash.

238
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,152
- I don't want him in my house.
- I understand.

239
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,029
He's going to come up here,
we'll have a quick talk,

240
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,112
then he'll go right back to the city.

241
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,471
You're my man.
And I love you.

242
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,994
He's just a friend in pain.

243
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,877
I wouldn't do this, but he's hurting.
Haven't you had a girl break your...?

244
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:26,399
He'd better be upset when he gets here.
There'd better be tears.

245
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,593
Thank you.

246
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,672
Let's go, Pete.

247
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,676
He's got some balls coming up here.

248
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:44,350
The prosthesis approximates the weight,
shape and feel of a normal testicle.

249
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,276
I'm sorry.
I dropped the ball.

250
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,432
It comes in four sizes: extra small,
small, medium and large.

251
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,876
I'd be a...

252
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,919
Miranda, what would I be?

253
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:18,116
- Medium?
- I was thinking large.

254
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,273
I'm really not an expert.
Large, then.

255
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,959
Medium? Really?

256
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,554
A large medium, Steve.

257
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,349
To get this model,
you have to enrol in a clinical trial.

258
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:37,672
- Excuse me?
- It's still being tested for safety.

259
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,508
I assure you, it's perfectly safe.

260
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:48,117
- He says it's perfectly safe.
- They said that about the Ford Pinto.

261
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:51,477
Think about it.
You want a Pinto near your penis?

262
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,718
In a different urologist's office
at the exact same time...

263
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:08,237
Is everything OK?
The nurse said you wanted to see me.

264
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,472
I'm afraid our problem
has reared its ugly head.

265
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,200
I can't seem to rise to the occasion.

266
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:17,750
Let's not assume
it's the same problem.

267
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,480
- I bought you this.
- "Juggs"?

268
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,872
- I know how much you like them.
- You knew I'd have a problem.

269
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,271
I just came prepared.
Look.

270
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:34,196
She's got big boobs.
So does she.

271
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,670
- It's the big boob bonanza issue.
- It's not that.

272
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,796
What, honey?

273
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:45,270
I'm afraid to. I don't think I can handle
another problem in that area.

274
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,030
Don't worry, Trey MacDougal.

275
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,992
I'm sure that you have very strong,
Scottish sperm.

276
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,398
And if you don't,

277
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,917
we can just spin them
and whip them up

278
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,311
and do whatever it is
you sexy doctor types do.

279
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,198
That's good.

280
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,556
Keep doing that.

281
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,912
- Do that thing I like.
- Which thing?

282
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,072
You know, you give a little tug.

283
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,152
It turned out Trey's Scottish sperm
was fine.

284
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,151
Better than fine: fantastic.

285
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,833
Where's the cup?

286
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,991
I have to admit you're the best
person for the job,

287
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,754
but I'm not going to hire you.

288
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:38,198
- Give me one legitimate reason why.
- Do I have to say it?

289
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:42,239
Yes. I'd like to hear the words
come out of your mouth.

290
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,233
You slept with my architect.

291
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,517
It turns out Samantha was wrong.
Men do talk.

292
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,798
- I don't want to get into all that.
- lnto all what?

293
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,191
It happened 100 years ago.
I barely know the guy.

294
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,670
How does my personal life
affect your business?

295
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:04,516
More accurately, how does your
personal life affect your business?

296
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,072
It's too bad.
Other than that, you had the job.

297
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,793
You know what? If I was a guy,
you would have shaken my hand,

298
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,032
bought me a Scotch
and given me a key to an office.

299
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,318
It's amazing. A man with innovative
vision can be so short-sighted.

300
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,554
Ms Jones, wait!

301
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:34,510
But she couldn't wait. She could feel
the tears building up inside her.

302
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,557
Not so fast!

303
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,509
The next day,
Richard Wright hired Samantha.

304
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,877
He told her he admired her balls.

305
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,958
When Big still hadn't arrived
two hours later,

306
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:58,910
I was secretly praying he had missed
the sign for farm fresh squash.

307
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,958
Then there it was:
the Batmobile.

308
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,995
Maybe he doesn't want to come in
and meet your dad.

309
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,317
- What are you doing sitting here?
- Waiting for you.

310
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,388
Why don't you come in?

311
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,750
I don't want to go in.
Let's go have a drink.

312
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:52,391
A drink where?
Ye olde country lemonade stand?

313
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,673
Why are you listening to that?

314
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,960
Come inside, we'll talk.

315
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,879
- Is he in there?
- Yes.

316
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,110
I can't talk in front of him.

317
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,840
Yes, you can. And you better.

318
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,309
Come on. Let's go.

319
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,833
Come on!

320
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,999
Shit!

321
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,477
An hour and two bottles of red wine
later, Big started talking.

322
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,679
Unfortunately,
it was mostly to himself.

323
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,628
...a product of vegan diet discipline.

324
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,189
Vegan diet bullshit.

325
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,437
- Give me the magazine.
- Wait, listen to this.

326
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,434
I'm looking for
that someone special.

327
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,319
She's not looking for anybody.
Bullshit.

328
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,233
- Any more wine?
- No.

329
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,996
Let's go have a drink
and a smoke sometime.

330
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:16,111
You can't smoke in the house.

331
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,399
- You can't smoke in the house.
- That's cool.

332
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,674
Guess I'd better head back.

333
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,113
Thanks.

334
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,800
Look at him. He can't drive.

335
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,508
What are you doing?
You can't drive.

336
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,911
- Call my driver.
- We're an hour outside New York.

337
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,558
- You'll have to sleep on the couch.
- Better not.

338
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,790
He doesn't want me here.

339
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,072
You can't drive.
Sleep on the couch.

340
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,476
That's cool.

341
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,152
After the ball plan backfired,
Miranda took Steve out to dinner.

342
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:25,075
Here's the book I was talking about.
"A Positive Outlook To Healing".

343
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,112
- I'm starting to hit my limit.
- I know.

344
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:36,911
I was just really counting
on that fake ball.

345
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,513
Every time I look down there,
I feel...

346
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,954
What?

347
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,071
This may be hard
for you to understand.

348
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,758
But who's going to fuck
a uni-ball bartender?

349
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,673
Miranda realised the thing to do
to help Steve

350
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,149
didn't involve books or balls.

351
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,190
- What's that pounding?
- Aidan's shooting hoops.

352
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,754
Isn't it a little early?

353
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,480
You have to make friends with him.

354
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,074
What are you talking about?

355
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,437
We're middle-aged men.
We have nothing in common.

356
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,354
You have me in common.
If you and Aidan don't become friendly,

357
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,114
I can't stay in your life.

358
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,792
How do I do this?

359
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,638
You're a guy. He's a guy.
There's a ball. Figure it out.

360
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,237
I'm sorry about last night.
I guess I got drunk.

361
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,152
I didn't mean to come up
and ruin your weekend.

362
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,279
You play hoop?
Give me a shot. I play.

363
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,758
A little muddy.
I guess from that rain.

364
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,394
- That was a little hard.
- That wasn't hard.

365
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,718
There they were:
Batman and the Green Bee.

366
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,956
Stop!

367
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:52,678
Stop it!

368
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,880
Stop it! You're middle-aged!

369
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,353
That dog just bit my ass!

370
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,637
Just like that,
Kato stopped the fight.

371
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,551
And the thing is

372
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,388
she could reach me,
but I could never get her.

373
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,675
Day or night, whenever,

374
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,515
she could reach me.
I couldn't get her. See?

375
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,836
That's fucked up.

376
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,519
Somehow, the storm had passed

377
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,433
and I never fully understood why.

378
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,309
Maybe men and women
don't live in the same zip code,

379
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,436
but we're moving closer.

380
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:51,709
Good eggs.



9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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